The Von Trapp Children, in Order of How Much I Liked Them

It's time to say what we've all been thinking....so here goes. Other opinions Wilkommen!
  1. 1.
    Liesl
    I know it's trite, because she also has a bigger role than the other chilrenz, but she's also pretty fuckin ballsy for 16, and had enough self respect to stop dating that mailman who turned into a nazi. She also wants to get wasted!! (Recall that she asks for champagne at some point)
  2. 2.
    Kurt
    I mean, he's so incorrigible! And has a great falsetto. Probably gay, and therefore family.
  3. 3.
    Louisa
    A true Nordic princess- the original Elsa, really...possibly bisexual, in my opinion.
  4. 4.
    Brigitte
    She was well-read, so major bonus points.
  5. 5.
    Gretel
    She was cute enough, I guess. But can't really sell a song.
  6. 6.
    Marta
    Unfortunately all we know about this girl is that she wants a pink parasol for her birthday. She seems to have the personality of a bag of hair.
  7. 7.
    Friedrich
    What a pussy! He was a major crybaby caca pants during the thunderstorm, and adds little value to the family singing group.