"Wheel of Fortune" is one of the few outlets in life where you can operate with half a brain and still walk away with $30,000 in 30 minutes. Nevertheless, many contestants fall into the same traps, and it's time for the insanity to stop. Also for me to be on the show.
  1. Calling a letter that's already been called
    This is tantamount to throwing several thousand dollars out a window, and also implies this you're either not paying attention or struggling with literacy
  2. Solving the puzzle with minimal letters on the board
    You get $1,000 for solving a puzzle with no letters on the board, so why not try and spin and actually make some money, seeing as total winnings (and not number of puzzles solved) decided who's the winner!
  3. Buying gratuitous vowels
    Bitch, vowels COST money, so unless you have no clue, don't spend money on vowels you already know are there
  4. Misreading (or pronouncing) the puzzle upon solve
    I mean.....come on. Reading is fundamental. Don't do this. http://youtu.be/ZVOxTjMjT_c or this: http://bit.ly/1N31Jz3
  5. Being a full fledged racist when elucidating letter choice
    I don't care that they're teens. http://bit.ly/1Jql9aE