MY POTENTIAL 'REAL HOUSEWIVES' OPENING CREDITS PHRASES 📂

Inspired by @TJ
  1. I have a big heart and a hundred travel-size face soaps and creams (because I do Birchbox).
  2. Popular culture is my life, and I'm swiftly losing interest in popular culture.
  3. Matthew McConaughey talking slowly about big concepts? NO THANKS.
  4. Yes I WILL have another. And then could you settle me up? It's Holmes. Holmes. H.
  5. I mean, two famous children are fighting with each other on Snapchat or whatever and I'm supposed to have an opinion on it? Just. I'm sorry. No.
  6. I get allergic smelling hay.
  7. Let me clear off my passenger seat. I know; I DO drink a lot of bottled water.
  8. "Fir?" Come on, autocorrect. When have I EVER texted about a tree?
  9. I give to the needy, and not the greedy. Mm-hm that's right.
  10. Did you turn into one of those people you pitied when you were younger? I did, and I TRY MY BEST NOT TO DWELL ON IT.