REAL SUBJECT LINES OF PORN SPAM EMAILS I'VE RECEIVED IN THE LAST WEEK, OR FAKE?

This was a speed round in last night's Friday Forty at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles (next one: 11/13, 9pm- come on out! Maybe I'll work out some kind of ListApp ticket discount). I don't know what I did to get on these lists, I really don't. Answers in the comments once you've had a few days to guess.
  1. 1.
    Yummy beauties, Dave Holmes, choose one and get pleasure.
  2. 2.
    Sweet melons, Dave Holmes, they're so huge.
  3. 3.
    Sit in a chair, Dave Holmes, these women are upset.
  4. 4.
    Tow truck driver, Dave Holmes, it is the best job.
  5. 5.
    Brutal cartoons, Dave Holmes, that's normal, man.
  6. 6.
    Salt and pepper, Dave Holmes, everything is sufficient in these cartoons.
  7. 7.
    Who am I to judge these ladies, Dave Holmes?
  8. 8.
    Young men enjoying themselves, Dave Holmes, it is all they know.
  9. 9.
    Teenage boys being penetrated in their private parts, Dave Holmes, that's fun.
  10. 10.
    Girls like hammers, you feel smashed after you see them, Dave Holmes.
  11. 11.
    Similar-minded woman, Dave Holmes, she is literally waiting inside.
  12. 12.
    That guy who played Bob Benson on Mad Men, and then I guess he was in that Zoo show which didn't look too good but you almost watched it anyway, Dave Holmes, he shakes your hand and looks right in your eyes.
  13. 13.
    That's it. Make your guesses in the comments. And come to The Friday Forty- forty questions about the events of the previous seven days, while we all drinks forties of beer (optional), plus dumb stuff like this. Hosted by me and Scott Gimple (EP of The Walking Dead). 2nd Friday of every month, 9p, Meltdown Comics. S'fun!