WAYS IN WHICH MY PARENTS HAVE DESCRIBED THEIR COMPUTER AND/OR IPAD ISSUES TO ME OVER THE PHONE

and then been annoyed that I could not diagnose and fix them.
  1. It's being goofy.
  2. I can't do the thing.
  3. It's telling me no.
  4. Well, I click the thing and here we are on a mountain.
    I think this means my dad has turned the computer on and the desktop is a picture of Yosemite.
  5. I try to go to my place to look at the thing and it says "No. No, I won't let you go there. You are not allowed to go there."
  6. Drudge is broken.
    Boy, I'll say.
  7. Oh, the thing is dippy again.
  8. We have been kicked out of the Internet. It told me.
  9. SCRABBLE DIES NOT WORK I MEAN DOES NOT WORK OOPS!
    My mother literally does not know about the backspace button and I'm afraid it will blow her mind.