Since you asked.
  1. I have mad Talmud skills.
  2. I'm hella spiritual.
  3. My rabbi beard is on fleek.
  4. Killing Purim costumes year after year
    544bfe46 ef43 47df 8f97 7175706ecbef
    Suggested by @zkamenetz
  5. I'm a parsha-nut.
    And wwith good, weekly shit. eg http://bit.ly/parshanut
    Suggested by @evan