my parents are crazy about birdz

THESE EMPTY NESTERS HAVE SURROUNDED THEMSELVES WITH FULL NESTS (that was the best I could do, pls excuse me, I'm trying). I am readjusting to country life for the summer.
  1. They have, not one,
  2. but
  3. THREE oriole feeders;
    solids, semi-solids, and liquids—duh
  4. a standard seeder, plus— not one,
  5. but
  6. THREE suet cages,
  7. whatever the fuck this is, and
    a finch feeder, I THINK
  8. not one,
    this is old as hell
  9. but TWO (I know) birdhouses,
    I think I made this with my dad
  10. a window hummingbird feeder,
    true story: the Orioles come to this feeder and harass you while you're watching tv if they're out of food
  11. and this 100% RIDICULOUS one in the front.
    they r thirsty 4 the birdz
  12. Finally, of course, a bird bath (of course)
  13. plus, BONUS: this goddamn, motherfucking killdeer decided to build her nest in the driveway (4 eggs circled in red 4 your convenience), and my dad (kindly, rightly) put flags around it
    but getting in and out of the driveway is a goddamn PAIN IN THE ASS because she runs back and forth across the driveway all goddamn day. I started to walk down to get the recycle bin from the end of the drive and turned around because she was charging at me. parenthood is STRESSFUL. (I will whisper this to you, and you only: I secretly wish a snake would come and eat the eggs! this is false, of course, but also so true. I pretend to be a nature-loving hipshit, but nature terrifies me. bye.)