WAYS MY BROTHER TELLS ME HE LOVES WITHOUT SAYING "I LOVE YOU"

He bottles up his feelings, not in a macho way, but in a I-don't-want-to-deal-with-this-shit way. but I know.
  1. "I'm so glad you're my sister"
  2. He does this thing where he'll just walk up to me, pat me on the back and smile, then walk away
  3. "You're funny sometimes"
    he repeats my jokes for hours/days/weeks after the fact, depending on how funny he finds them
  4. I came home fighting back tears one day, and the first thing he did was ask if I needed a hug. I told him I just wanted to sit outside for a minute, and he watched out the window to make sure I was okay (I went back inside for the hug)
    I haven't figured out how he does it, but he can recognize when something's fundamentally wrong and somehow fix it. He's sort of a Zooey Glass character minus the brooding intellect, if that registers with anyone. Like, he knows what I need when I need it, and in a way no one else does. Affection makes him uncomfortable (he usually tries to lighten the mood), but he does it anyway.
  5. "You're the only person I talk to about this stuff"
  6. This one night I was laying out in the backyard, watching a meteor shower alone, and he dragged a chair out to where I was and laid down beside me without saying anything.
  7. "I bought you some ice cream"
    We have a rule that if one of us buys the other ice cream, we have to tandem eat it while watching a movie. Yes, it's perfect
  8. If we're sitting on the couch next to each other, he props a pillow up against me and lays down
    It's sweet but also imprisoning
  9. We got in the car to go grocery shopping one time and he drove me to the movies instead
  10. "It's so nice to come home to you"
  11. I die
    My life has led up to this moment