THINGS I MISS ABOUT SCRANTON, PA

The city that raised me, the fictional home of @bjnovak, and the place where I spend all of my holidays and vacations
  1. The small-town heroes
    Outspoken civilian Ray Lyman, strident opinion columnist Chris Kelly, Syracuse point guard Gerry McNamara, and many more
  2. Everyone has the same last names
    Murphy, Murray, Lynett, Burke, Mulligan, Doherty, Flynn, Walsh, Brier, O'Malley, Gallagher, McCarthy, Cosgrove
  3. The politicians are nakedly crooked
    No one even bothers to conceal their corruption. The city is run by the looming figure of Louis Denaples, a billionaire who likes to eat at Cafe Classico. In Scranton, the Republican/Democrat binary isn't as relevant as the Denaples/Anti-Denaples one
  4. Big forests
  5. Pizza by Pappas
    A pizza served within two frisbees of styrofoam
  6. Yuengling beer that costs $2
  7. Swimming in the Nay Aug Gorge
  8. The Irish pride
  9. The Scranton Times-Tribune
    It prints simple observations as news stories. The above-the-fold headline sometimes says things like "It's Hotter Out Than Usual"
  10. Manning's Ice Cream
    Where cows graze 10 feet away from where you get your ice cream, and it's very difficult to keep the cow poo smell separate from the ice cream taste
  11. Huge Families
    This is my immediate family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, and first cousins)
  12. Catalano's Italian hoagies
  13. People staring into your car wherever you drive
  14. The World's Largest Pothole
    Slightly outside the city limits (in Archbald) and a popular destination for men seeking anonymous car sex
  15. Nina's hot wing bites
  16. My house
    Seen here at Christmastime
  17. Terrible bar names
    There is a real bar called "Whiskey Dicks"