THINGS I WISH WEREN'T TRUE

But definitely are
  1. Cities with really good pizza have the most corrupt politicians
  2. No one in real life talks like the characters in Wes Anderson movies
  3. Meat is pretty gross
  4. "Writer" has become a catch-all term for educated aimless people
  5. Sushi is bad for you
  6. A good amount of the poop on LA streets is not dog poop
  7. Working full-time in an office building will one day be regarded as an anthropological oddity
  8. Joining the military is still a very good thing to do
  9. People are much more comfortable praising art once the artist herself is dead
  10. I had to go back and change that one to "herself"
  11. Most emotions get more manageable once you've had them a few times
  12. This list will live on forever and define a generation