DECIPHERING NOTES ON MY PHONE I DON'T REMEMBER MAKING

I use the Notes on my phone obsessively. It's both a journal and a notebook on the go. I'm constantly writing down words and phrases that strike me in a certain way, or drafting up texts I'll never send. Here are a handful of notes I found that I don't remember writing and lack the context necessary to ~fully understand what I was going after.
  1. 1.
    Sleep schedule
    Whatever this was it didn't even ~remotely correct my sleep schedule.
  2. 2.
    Progress
    Right after Christmas in 2012-- maybe I was mapping out my New Years resolution
  3. 3.
    OTPHJ
    Over the Pants Hand Job-- now my actual all time favorite acronym. I had to have heard this before 2013 (where I fully committed it to memory), so I have no idea what purpose writing it down served... I had not just received an OTPHJ, honest.
  4. 4.
    Yikes
    Feel like this was self-directed, despite feeling generally apologetic about most things and my tendency to overuse the word "sorry."
  5. 5.
    Yikes p.2
    Reflecting on semi-cherished high school memories, probably
  6. 6.
    Christmas Eve
    It was Christmas Eve and I was 10 feet deep in angst.
  7. 7.
    Do-over
    "If life could be forever one instant / Would it be the moment you met me?" is a lyric from Majical Cloudz's Bugs Don't Buzz. I was obsessed with this album that winter (and forever) and thought lots about how big a role timing plays in who becomes/remains important in your life. WAIT THIS WAS WRITTEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE TOO! Someone had kept me up all night, damn.
  8. 8.
    ?.jpg
    My general state of mind as a small, digital file.
  9. 9.
    WHAT HOW DID I FORGET THIS
    Was this my idea?! Please say it's an original™®©. I'm starting this ASAP.
  10. 10.
    Jacket
    Maybe ?.jpeg was me trying to conjure up a pic of this jacket 'cause it was apparently so wonderful I was 1. sick and 2. leaving myself a note as though it might spark a healthy dialogue. Additional thoughts: Very likely a jacket of Drake's, very likely out of my price range.
  11. 11.
    Paaaarty
    I dunno, but considering the amount of a's in party (seems important), maybe using voice memos would have been more effective.
  12. 12.
    Wii Golf
    Fact: I was home for thanksgiving, my family owns a Wii, my dad and brother were likely playing Wii golf. Opinion: the Wii golf soundtrack is so PRETTY! I think I imagined this as a scene in a movie. How much would the licensing be? I'm gonna follow up on this.
  13. 13.
    Love
    Eh, bleak 2AM thoughts. However, if unrequited love isn't true then this rediscovery is going to save me lots of time.
  14. 14.
    Can I wear my Air Force Ones in heaven?
    No clue, but I'm vibin'. I have never owned Air Force Ones but I have a vivid memory of sitting in a field and listening to the song on repeat on my first gen. iPod.
  15. 15.
    Hats
    I don't know why I was writing this at 2AM, but I must have been thinking about a hat I was too self-conscious to try on in a store full of people but also not allowed to take to the dressing room. It's probably for the best. The only hat I wear now is a hat from my high school days working as an umpire: blue, short bill, classic cap-- likely modeled from the hat adults show babies when teaching them the word "hat."