Top Failures, Six Weeks Into Being a New Parent

Disclaimer: no babies were harmed in the making of this list.
  1. Baby's first trip on the Subway, carried the stroller up the stairs with the wrong end up, baby almost slid out of bottom of bassinet.
  2. The first time I gave baby a bottle, used a too fast flowing nipple, and almost drowned baby.
  3. Half asleep, rocking baby to sleep after a 4am feeding with my eyes closed, only to open my eyes and look down to find baby staring at me wide awake, with a massive smile reminiscent of a horror film clown; freaked out.
  4. Misjudged the distance between baby and the tummy time mat while placing baby on the tummy time mat.