KINDS OF DRUNK

What certain spirits do to your spirits
  1. Gin
    That dignity and poise you sought at the start has gone out the window much earlier than you realize. You think laughing in a coy manner is a really strong move. Your opinions become much louder
  2. Vodka
    If ever there was a night to sleep with your friends' sons or daughters, this is the one. The efficiency you've reached oblivion would appall you if your eyes could open all the way. Underwear becomes outerwear. Whatever the game- darts, remember your cell phone, life- you lose
  3. Bourbon
    Your common sense has been curb stomped and beaten with a mellow brown 2x4. All ideas are good ideas and to be tried concurrently. Your body will become 85% UPI (unidentified party injury).
  4. Scotch
    You feel as if you've become your best self. Loquacious and filled with opinions you didn't know you had, you can convince others you have authority when you're just fucking drunk. You don't want to do anything but sit
  5. Red Wine
    Your body throbs due to increase iron oxidization but also because you are just down to fuck. Your bedroom eyes have bags under them. The swaying you're doing feels so right because you can taste the breeze
  6. White Wine
    I'm sorry the break up isn't going well. I'm even more sorry that the relationship you wish would end isn't. You are spiteful against your body and being. Or you had too little fish for dinner
  7. Beer
    You have become an animal again. Devolution can be enthralling and you want to see how primordial you can get. The answer may surprise you
  8. Tequila
    Nothing is worth saving any more. Let it all burn. Nothing will feel as blissfully unfeeling as this moment