LESSONS IN LOVE I LEARNED THE HARD WAY

  1. Even if something seems silly and is objectively silly, don't assume the other person thinks it is
    A Capella has strong, strong defenders
  2. Be careful of expressing your distaste for certain genres or sub genres of art until you know the person doesn't work in them
    "I hate that modern fiction that starts with like someone in NYC suffering ennui and then by the end of the blurb they have some multigenerational, past and future, magical realist journey to Azerbaijan or Estonia or something" "in my novel she goes to Ukraine..."
  3. Ironic pet names lose their luster fast
    Whatever end of the spectrum, from "my boo piece" to "shmumblywumpums"
  4. Trolling family members, despite whatever abhorrent opinions they may have, is still being mean to family and you should not
    Look, her dad didn't want his daughter dating Jews. I am one. Engaging in conversation with him to egg out nasty opinions did no one any favors
  5. The company they keep speaks louder than anything else
    Think this one speaks for itself
  6. If everyone they know eventually has become an enemy, so will you
    "Evil exes," everyone! Some people just want to see their bridges burned
  7. Frequent communication, no matter how banal, is key
    I'm not a great "updater"- ask my parents- but it turns out people who like you like to know about you. Go figure
  8. Having a "checklist" can blind you from bigger issues
    Some people seem great on paper with all the traits you're looking for and that can be intoxicating. But it can make you look past other, bigger hurdles to happiness
  9. Learn their favorite Ninja Turtle, ice cream flavor, and cocktail as early as possible