Saw this list on Brain Pickings, was from her diaries. Turns out we have remarkably similar taste, though maybe from different perspectives. Titles are her own, elaborations mine
  1. Intelligence
    A little bit of a gimme but worth repeating ad nauseum. However I would stipulate this isn't just being learned or read but to have that beautiful ability to link unrelated things and find how they complement, inform, or contradict the other. Creative intelligence wherein someone's thought process is wholly their own and golden
  2. Beauty, Elegance
    I mean yeah someone sexy for sure. No one ever complained about living in Babe City. But elegance is something a lot of you sleep on. Someone who knows from charm, enchantment, and takes presentation seriously (or doesn't but at least knows the rules before breaking them). Plus have you ever endeared conversational elegance? It's like a guided safari through the forests of someone's mind. Truly intoxicating
  3. Doceur (sweetness, gentleness)
    I will be first to admit that I can be a difficult person, but not in an immediate sense. It's something I've been working on, but the leap from getting to know me to really, truly knowing me is vast. Therefore someone who has gentle patience for me and my shortcomings is superlative. Plus you know when someone does something nice for you unprovoked just because they want to? That sweetness is rare and I've experienced little of it but it seems really nice
  4. Glamor; Celebrity
    This may be shallow. as I was growing up, especially through middle and high school (hey St Ann's) the glamorously aloof ones always got to me. There was something about their distant eyes that made it seem like they looked at the world differently. Ever since I was little I've been taken with different worlds- my own is meh- and vicarious or empathic thrill seeking in how the privileged few see things has always drawn me/stupefied my tongue. Rich, famous, beautiful, I'm in and dutifully patient
  5. Strength
    Because being asked to hang shelves all day is tedious. Jk lol. Resilience is a turn on because it implies experience. Life is tough and things aren't too easy on our frames. To be able to bounce back, to not fall and wallow, and to not break apart at little provocation is a trait that this awful world doesn't instill in someone lightly
  6. Vitality; Sexual Enthusiasm; Charm; Gaiety
    This isn't to say someone who is blindly happy like some lobotomies golden retriever. Rather someone who appreciates the carnal and whose blood pumps freely. I like this because I'm definitely not it but something I very much wish to be. Whatever the rush- adrenaline, endorphins, blood to the head- it would be nice to have someone who not only joins but maybe even leads on it. Show me the world of feeling good and good about life/myself. I'll do my best to keep up. Plus, enthusiasm for sex-havin
  7. Emotional Expressiveness; Tenderness (physical and verbal); Affectionateness
    While I have sympathy for them I've dated people who are miasmic maelstroms of emotional confusion and it's exhausting and infectious. But on the flip I'm not great at emotions either but I'm trying. Also I hate pettiness. I'm fully taken with someone at their word of tenderness and affection- I'm not worried about the metaphorical Becky with good hair. Even if it's only behind closed doors I like affection in communication.
  8. An addendum
    I realize a lot of this list is about someone being, ostensibly, better than me at a lot of things. I'm not sorry for that. There is no part of me turned on by feeling superior over a partner (admitting I can get jazzed from debating a jackass but that's a separate issue). However I don't want to lay this all at someone's foot. I try to get better at everything listed above because it would be hypocritical to say what I'm attracted to but not aspire to it myself
  9. So Susan Sontag is pretty much my ideal bro for cruising chicks
    Which is exactly, I'm sure, how she would want me to phrase that