CHARACTER BIO ON THE ALCOHOLIC DAD FROM BOYHOOD

  1. Born in 1950
  2. Raised by a shell of a mother and a military father
  3. At the age of 10, his father poured a Budweiser in a dog bowl and forced him to drink it
  4. Enlisted in the army in '72.
  5. Kicked out of the army in '73 for drinking while polishing a rifle.
  6. In 1980 he snorted a line of cocaine off of his Thin Lizzy vinyl collection. He then had an epiphany to become a professor.
  7. Loved gin
  8. Taught psychology at some fucking college in Houston
  9. Favorite hobby was talking down to women.
  10. Has had the same haircut for thirty years
  11. Had a beautiful yard
  12. In 2007, after divorcing his third wife, he crashed his car into a lake.
  13. Had cholesterol issues
  14. Died in 2009 after smashing a bottle over his own head
  15. His children pissed on his grave
  16. His three ex-wives also pissed on his grave