THINGS MY GIRLFRIEND DOES

  1. Loves Philadelphia
  2. Watches Sister Wives
  3. Asks about my day
  4. Thinks she directed django unchained
  5. Kisses me
  6. Murders a few of my dogs
  7. Paints her nails
  8. Digs holes
  9. Slam-balls
  10. Claims Czech Republic is her "territory"
  11. Buys non useful 'decorations'
  12. Leaves hair everywhere
  13. Slam-balls
  14. Sleeps
  15. Cooks delicious food
  16. Feeds me through a tube