DUMB REQUESTS FROM CUSTOMERS TODAY

I'm a barista at a Bakery in Beverly Hills. Today is my Friday so let's see how the world tries to test me today.
  1. "What's the difference between drip coffee and an americano?"
    .....honestly? Everything. Bye.
  2. "Can I get a macchiato but in a big cup with extra foam"
    Sooooo...a dry capp? Don't try to get over on me. I've done this before.
  3. "What kind of ham is on the sandwich?"
    Our answer:regular
  4. "Can I get a hot chocolate but cold? And not a chocolate milk."
    ..........
  5. "This iced vanilla latte with almond milk is too vanilla and almond-y."
    There's no other things it could be.
  6. "Oh I can't touch the bread?"
    No bitch the fuck?!?!
  7. "Oh I have to pick a flavor of hot tea? Nevermind just coffee"
    Wut.
  8. "Are these dog treats for dogs or humans?"
    Bitches.
  9. "Chocolate dog biscuits?"
    NO. COME ON!
  10. "Do you have a discount at night?"
    So then everyone would come at night?!?!? No!
  11. "Wait you're closed? So I can't get anything? You don't even have coffee? Or a croissant?"
    Until places stay open for me I will not stay open for anyone else.