REASONS MY FAKE BOOB IS BETTER THAN MY REAL ONE

Glorifying my mastectomy
  1. New boob
  2. Old boob
  3. Never having to wear an underwire bra again
  4. Cancer is gone (fingers crossed)
  5. Never having to wear any kind of bra again
  6. Everybody wants to touch new boob
  7. Letting everybody touch new boob like the "slutty" (but very popular) girl I secretly wished I was in middle school
  8. New clothes shopping (thanks for the list @lenadunham)
  9. Making husband uncomfortable when I talk about new boob size with his single friends
  10. Writing lists about boobs
  11. I love boobs, fake/real whatever