THOUGHTS AFTER TWO WEEKENDS OF WEDDINGS IN A ROW

It happened, it was real and now I am probably going to die from alcohol poisoning. Not just weddings, wedding weekends - full on, Friday + Saturday all in commitment to merrymaking
  1. If I lie here very still, will it keep me from breaking and shattering into a million pieces
  2. Can I get a banana bag of fluids and an IV in my bed
  3. I need to do a detox mask so bad
    Slept in my makeup!!!!! cArdinal sin!!!! Badddddd
  4. Did I eat gluten last night?
  5. I'm not wearing anything but yoga pants for the next month
    Dressing up is fun but also SO MUCH WORK
  6. Exhibit B
  7. Exhibit C
  8. I'm burning all my spanx
  9. My feet look like I walked over burning coals from all the dancing in heels
  10. Why do my calves hurt so badly?
  11. Why can't I find anything? All my belongings are scattered throughout 4 different tiny pouches
  12. Where is the other eyelash?
  13. Oh god, is this spanx indentation permanent?
  14. My internal organs hurt
  15. I wish I had some leftovers
  16. Hashtag everything