German Meats My German Boyfriend Made Me Eat

We just spent the weekend in his hometown in Kronberg, a half hour train ride away from Frankfurt. He is always telling me how great German sausages so I agreed to put aside my British Cumberlands for his German Mettwurst. This list is all the meats that he made me eat in this 48 hour block.
  1. German deli meats
    Our first stop was to a local sausage shop to pick up some typical German breakfast meats. He ordered a selection of deli meats which are quite similar to what you would get if you ordered German hams anywhere but way better. Special shout out to the ham with pistachio.
  2. Mettwurst
    This is raw pork. With some spices. But mostly, just raw spreadable pork. You put some on bread and sometimes you add raw onions. I looked at him for a while, weighing up whether I should show how cool I am to eat whatever meat he throws my way and risk getting diarrhoea in front him or just say fuck no. I went halfway and tried a very measly quarter slice of rye bread with this raw pork on. It's like steak tartare but scarier.
  3. Teewurst
    This is only 2 parts raw pork and 1 part bacon. The meat is minced and packed in a casing before being smoked. It's pretty fucking good, actually. For it to be deemed Rugenwalder Teewurst, the company making it must have historic ties to that region of Poland, making it the raw pork equivalent of champagne.
  4. Frankfurter Schnitzel with Green Sauce
    I am all over a good schnitzel. I'm sorry that they are made of veal but when you're eating raw pork all weekend, I kind of feel like a veal schnitzel is the least terrible thing you're doing. The Frankfurt version is delicious because it comes with a green sauce called...green sauce. The sauce is made of 7 herbs, one of which may give you cancer but they try not to talk about it too much. I loved the green sauce so I can see why they would avoiding mentioning the cancer risk and the baby cows.
  5. Lebenwurst
    This was up there with my favourites. It's a liver sausage which is kind of spreadable so it tastes most like pate. I am all about good pate. Once when I was little, my mum found me watching TV and eating pate out of the tub with a spoon at 6am. In retrospect, of course I would have ended up with a German. (Pictured is the meat platter with Lebenwurst, Blutwurst, Rippchen and lebenknodel)
  6. Blutwurst
    This is blood sausage but made really differently from what Brits would call black pudding. It's more like spreadable, congealed, gooey, delicious and bloody indeterminable meat. Looks like a particularly clotted period. Tastes great. Sorry not sorry for the imagery, I'm the one who had to put in my mouth.
  7. Rippchen
    Rippchen is a traditional Frankfurt dish. My boyfriend described it as 'ribs but not ribs'. Wikipedia describes it as 'cured pork cutlets, slowly heated in sauerkraut or meat broth, and usually served with sauerkraut.' I describe it as 'yum.' It is most like gammon in texture and taste.
  8. Leberknodel
    This is a liver dumpling. It's dense and dank as fuck. You couldn't eat a whole plate of it, even if you love liver like I do.