Things Uber Drivers Have Offered Me

so many are friendly, too many are misguided
  1. Gum
  2. Water
  3. Soda
  4. iPhone charger
  5. Audio hookup
  6. A tip jar
  7. A bible
  8. A "new system for learning foreign languages FAST!"
    Complete with how-to guide, illustrated on construction paper
  9. A stop at In-N-Out
  10. A diversion to the local Asian brothel
    in Atlantic City, natch
  11. Thoughts on last night's Shark Tank