Things I'm learning about myself

idk it's late and I'm thinking and can't sleep so...
  1. if you're cool & chill, I will automatically want to continue a relationship with you
    even if I know I probably won't see you again or if I know you're probably sleeping around and I'm not actually special at all
  2. just because it's summer doesn't mean I get to relax & be stress free
    trying to get a job, bring broke, family, friends, relationships, classes, etc
  3. I have shitty coping mechanisms
    feeling things sucks.
  4. I'm kind of a huge bitch
    I'm judgmental and standoffish. I'll say stuff I probably shouldn't and don't care enough when I do.
  5. my type of guy: fuckboy
    I don't know why but I'm drawn to that. I try to make a conscious effort not to go for them but idk
  6. I might curse too much...
    see past 3 bullet points
  7. I seriously lack confidence and self respect
    comparing myself to others, holding myself to certain standards that are so difficult to meet
  8. my family stresses me out more than school
    going home usually ends in me crying
  9. not much interests me anymore
    I love music & coffee & dogs, but other than that I'm pretty ambivalent. I used to be so motivated and curious
  10. and more I'm not gonna put out in the public
  11. ....yeah
  12. Clearly lots of negative stuff. But I'm gonna get help.
    hopefully I'll learn to manage my life a little better c: