A Few Boyfriends My Mom Had When I Was a Kid
There are more. So, so many more.
- •DarcyWe were driving in my mom's gold and bondo-ed VW bug, after a trip to Pic & Save, when we saw Darcy hitchhiking. He moved in later that day. He worked at a movie theater, his fave show was The Beverly Hillbillies and he had rage issues due to the head trauma he suffered after being hit by a car. My mom finally kicked him out after he got into a fight at the bar she worked at and bit the tip of a guy's nose off. My mom thought fast and put the nose tip on ice. It was her most heroic moment.
- •GaryGary loved to talk about how he was part Creek Indian and was very hairy. My mom loved to run her fingers through his 'foxy' chest hair. Another thing about Gary was that he never wore underwear. It would infuriate me when his nut sack was divided into unequal sections in the crotch of his jeans. I used to pretend I was Carrie, & try to make his balls symmetric. One time he caught me in the process of 'performing telekinesis' and just shook his head seemingly thinking "No chick can resist Gary"
- •Here's a pic that sums up me as a child perfectlyHappy Mother's Day!