Things I Said at This Memorial Day Party That Made People Stare Blankly

I'm great in social situations
  1. Everyone in Florida sucks.
  2. She's a burlesque dancer? I don't think so.
  3. I love thrill killers. Especially when they're a couple in love
  4. Extreme sports are for losers.
  5. I don't need to be in a shark cage, shitting in my wetsuit
  6. I never feel bad when people die on a party boat.