Ways to Make Sex Uncomfortable for All Involved: a Step by Step Guide by Beck

  1. When someone grunts start singing the beginning of never enough by One Direction
  2. The entire sex scene from The Bronze
  3. Say "oh I saw this in a porn once"
  4. Continue to sing the McDonalds theme song
    Ba Da Bada daaaaa I'm lovin it
  5. Say "your parents did this to make you, isn't that wild"
  6. Every time they moan say SAME
  7. Accidentally rip their dick off with your metal arm
  8. Say "oh goodness that's wet"
  9. Have a tattoo of a family member they have to look at while you get dirty
  10. Talk about how much you love your wiener dog max and ask if they named their wiener max
  11. Watch Downton Abbey
  12. Quote Professor Snape
    Turn to page 394
  13. Talk about the different uses for medicinal marijuana
  14. Ask if they would've done Bill Clinton
  15. As if they thought reading the Declaration of Independence would've aroused Alexander Hamilton