Who? What? When? Where? Why?

Inspired by @semioccasional
  1. Me
  2. A warm bowl of tomato bisque
  3. Anytime you want
  4. In a dark forest
  5. To plan the murder of all those that have stabbed you in the back and make them pay for the atrocity they've betrothed upon you over a nice, light lunch that goes well with any pack of saltine crackers, or the occasional homicidal tendency.