Characters of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Ranked
Love Brad & Janet? Come at me. I will win when we decide the winner via a Time Warp Dance-off.
- 10.BradStrong yawn. Slightly salvaged by his hilariously corny lines and his dancing at film's climax.
- 9.Dr. ScottHis song during dinner is excellent. Otherwise, meh.
- 8.JanetPoints for protecting Rocky from psychical abuse and then using him for sex, and being very hot in a Greenwich, CT sort of way. Not Brad-level yawn, but still yawn.
- 7.RockyEssentially an obnoxiously good looking Labrador. Credit for trying to save Frankenfurter (all King Kong style, no less) from Riff Raff's bloodlust.
- 6.ColumbiaBOSS style. Excellent tap dancing. Ultimately lacking in chutzpah.
- 5.EddiePlayed by Meatloaf, so there's that. Strong. A true performer. Ultimately, like his love Columbia, lacking in chutzpah and thus becomes dinner.
- 4.MagentaDefinitely boss, a charming alcoholic, dark in all the right ways.
- 3.The CriminologistClassy AF, but still gets down to the time warp. I love him.
- 2.Dr. FrankenfurterAll the chutzpah in the land. A visionary, hopeless romantic, a pansexual rock star.
- 1.Riff RaffIt's hard to separate Riff Raff from Richard O'Brien who plays him, the genius who wrote the original play and this film, but even once you do, it's Riff Raff's duality and cunning that makes him #1. Next-level creepy and apathetic in his deceiving initial role as the butler, yet also a stone cold Transexual Transylvanian killer who slays his enemies with a chrome ray gun.