Shit Sorkin Characters Do to Be Charming That Everyone Would Hate a Real Person For

  1. Remind everyone around you that you went to an Ivy League university every 5 minutes.
  2. Quote obscure literature or philosophy to support your position in everyday arguments.
  3. Have countless witty replies on deck.
  4. Vocalize the brilliant quirkiness of your thought process.
  5. Converse almost universally through pretentious monologues.
  6. Patronize pretty much everyone.