The Story of My Profile Picture

Req by @mkz. GORE ALERT: If blood/serious wounds make you queasy, don't expand the photos.
  1. A couple years back, I was riding my bike in Brooklyn and got hit by a van that made last minute left turn without signaling.
  2. When I slammed into the van, I was going about 30mph. My head smashed through the side window. Broke my collarbone too.
  3. It was pretty raw. @Grosstastic took photos pre-surgery for legal purposes. GORE ALERT.
  4. Then she got all artsy with it, like she do.
  5. Then she turned me into a meme.
  6. Then the hospital gave me OxyContin.
  7. It was DELIGHTFUL. For a week, I was either happily stoned floating on rainbows or sleeping like a newborn.
  8. During said week, I decided to steal one of Halley's dad's bandanas and be a bandito. At this point, the right side of my face was so fucked up, it just looked right.
  9. I'm still not totally sure why, but I love this photo and use it for all things social media, LinkedIn included.
  10. The end!