CATS I HAVE LIVED WITH, RANKED BY THE STUPIDITY OF THEIR NAMES
- 1.The LintballHis real name is Gimli, but no one calls him that. Instead, he's the Lintball because he's grey and tiny because of his thyroid issues and he looks like a piece of dryer lint.
- 2.MelonheadShe was very sweet, but not very bright.
- 3.RabbitHe had the world's biggest ears.
- 4.FestusHe was hit by a car as a kitten, so he walked with a limp for the rest of his life. My dad named him after the character in Gunsmoke.
- 5.YadiHe's a Hemingway cat, which means he has extra toes. His feet look like a catcher's mitt, so we named him after Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina.
- 6.SatchelNamed after my father's favorite baseball player, Satchel Paige.
- 7.BooNamed him after Boo Radley. Fitting, because he's a little off.
- 8.JasperJasper was the name he was given as a kitten at the shelter, and it stuck. Although my mom liked to say that he was named after Jasper, the weird German guy who tackled the underwear bomber a few years ago.