THINGS I TEND TO SAY PRE,DURING, AND POST COITUS THAT KINDA KILL THE MOOD

What can I say? I'm a moment ruiner
  1. "Fine, but let's make it quick"
  2. "Did you wash your penis?"
  3. "Can you wash your penis?"
  4. "Did you wash your hands? No, I mean did you really wash them or just splash them with some water?"
  5. "I don't want to take my shirt off, my tits look weird today"
  6. "Wait, stop, the dog is watching, I don't want him to watch, that's weird"
  7. "I'm not gonna put my dog in the bathroom, what are you a monster?"
  8. "Stay away from my butt"
  9. "Seriously, stay away from my butt or I will break your dick"
  10. "Listen, I'm done so you need to hurry up"
  11. "Ok, get away, I gotta pee first!"
  12. "Yea, it was nice. I came didn't i?Why do we need to recap?"