The Thoughts of a Big Rock Trying Its Best to Hide an Egg During an Easter Egg Hunt

  1. Oh. It's that time of the year again. The woman from the building has her bag.
  2. It is time for the ritual of the colored rocks.
  3. Once again I will do my part to hide a colored rock from the little people.
  4. I fear they will find it. They always do.
  5. I am not as good as grill. Grill always protects the colored rock and everyone forgets it's there until there is plastic smoke on Memorial Day weekend.
  6. Yes, lift me, woman. I will defend this pastel purple rock. I promise.
  7. Ok, be very still.
  8. That is all I can do, ever. This should be easy.
  9. The woman is going back to the building to unleash the little people. They will do anything they can to collect the colored rocks. We, as members of the yard, must do our duty to stop them.
  10. Here they come, screaming their horrible victory cry.
  11. The colored rocks in the tall grass are the first to go. Grass is good, but it cannot hide unless tall.
  12. A little man just found a blue rock at the foot of slide.
  13. He cracked open the rock and ate its colorful insides.
  14. I fear they will do the same to me if I don't reveal purple rock.
  15. No. I will never give up the colored rock. Rocks look out for each other.
  16. Unlike fence posts, which gave away orange rock immediately.
  17. Oh no, one of the little woman people is close. She has found a red rock in the flower bed.
  18. She's right over me.
  19. She knows. She remembers from last year.
  20. All yard objects house a secret colored rock on the day of the colored rocks.
  21. I must protect purple rock with my life.
  22. Do I have jelly bean insides?
  23. I'm not afraid to find out.
  24. The little woman is gone, distracted by the offerings of the shed, where the little man said "there's a bunch over here."
  25. Shed is a coward and a rat.
  26. But... I may finally do it. I may finally save the purple rock from this terrifying harvest.
  27. Why is the woman from the building pointing my way? Why is she telling the little people "um, I think there may be some in the garden!"?
  28. She is the one who told me to protect the purple rock.
  29. She is the one who entrusted me with this sacred duty.
  30. Why is she betraying me and the rocks?
  31. Is she under duress? Are the little people torturing her?
  32. Stay strong, distributor of colored rocks! One year we will hide them successfully!
  33. I don't know why she has turned traitor, but I will not give up.
  34. Oh no, a different little woman person is over me.
  35. She is trying to lift me.
  36. Be. Heavy.
  37. HEAVIER.
  38. She has lifted me.
  39. There is purple rock, naked and alone.
  40. I could not hide it. I could not protect it. I have failed.
  41. The little woman has throw me on the ground upside-down.
  42. I guess this is now right-side-up for me.
  43. She puts the purple rock in her rock satchel and runs away to plunder more.
  44. I have been forsaken by the woman from the building. Her treason shall be remembered.
  45. Look at the yard. We have been torn apart. We have all given up our charge to protect the colored rocks.
  46. We could not do it, yet again. We could not defend the colored rocks against their captors.
  47. I'm so sorry, purple rock. I'm so sorry bright green rock from last year. I'm so sorry blue, I think?, rock from two years ago.
  48. I will spend the next year obsessing over what went wrong.
  49. What's that in gutter?
  50. Gutter still has a colored rock.
  51. The little people have gone inside. They did not see it.
  52. We protected one.
  53. That is good. We must raise it as our own. It is part of the yard now.