The Thoughts of a Camp Counselor Who's Not Sure How Much He's Supposed to Let the Kids Make Out

  1. Wow! Another great Friday Jamboree in the books.
  2. "Ok, guys, be in your bunks in one hour. Let me hear a Camp Hockawalla holler!"
  3. God, I love these little camp nerds.
  4. "HOCKAWALLA HOCKA-FOREVER."
  5. Can't believe it's been five summers since I was a camper.
  6. "Hey, Joey, where's Kevin L.?"
  7. Woah! Apparently Betsy Gaines asked Kevin L. if he wanted to go on a walk.
  8. That's amazing. Kevin has such a crush on Betsy. It's all he talks about after lights out.
  9. I remember being fourteen at camp. I hope he gets a little peck, haha.
  10. Kissing is technically not allowed, but it's an unwritten rule that we allow it, as long as it's within reason and hidden from us.
  11. I should tell Sarah. She loves camp gossip.
  12. "Yo, Benny, where you running?"
  13. He said he's going down to the dock to watch Betsy and Kevin L. kiss from the bushes.
  14. "Hey, come on. You know kissing is not allowed. Help me put out the bonfire."
  15. Wow! Good for Kevin!
  16. God, what a perfect camp memory. A first kiss on the dock.
  17. This camp drama is going to last us a few days, hahaha.
  18. Oh, there's Sarah and her campers with some water for the fire.
  19. "Hey Sarah, I think our two bunks have a romance. Apparently Kevin and Betsy are on a walk."
  20. "No, Kevin L., not Kevin S. Kevin S. is still dating Molly from the first session."
  21. Sarah's camper Stacy just said she heard that Betsy was going to let Kevin get to third base.
  22. ...
  23. "What."
  24. Apparently Betsy has been telling everyone that her and Kevin are going to "go pretty far."
  25. Oh. Oh no.
  26. What do I do?
  27. I have to go stop them, right?
  28. Oh man. Just have a cute kiss and giggle a lot. That's the Camp Hockawalla way.
  29. Who tells people that they are going to go to "third base?"
  30. Is that a thing girls plan ahead of time?
  31. "Sarah, I'm going to go check on them."
  32. I really don't want to ruin a perfect camp moment.
  33. God, there's like ten boys hiding in the bushes.
  34. "Everyone, go! Get out of here."
  35. "Yes, HOCKAWALLA HOCKA-FOREVER. Now, leave."
  36. Ok, now I guess I spy on two fourteen-year-olds making out?
  37. There they are.
  38. Oh.
  39. Oh damn.
  40. They are really going at it.
  41. Stop them, Josh.
  42. I mean, they are just making out.
  43. His hands are kind of wandering.
  44. How much hand wandering is "perfect camp memory" material? When does it become extremely inappropriate and something I have to stop?
  45. I mean, camp is a formative experience.
  46. SHE'S MOVING HIS HANDS FOR HIM.
  47. I can't watch this. This is weird.
  48. Oh man, I hate this. Do I just watch until it becomes something else?
  49. Like the instant it officially becomes second base?
  50. No, Joshua, that's too far, I think.
  51. I think I have to stop it.
  52. But look at the moon! It's perfect. This is a perfect camp memory.
  53. They are laying down. They are laying down on the dock.
  54. Ok, that's the line.
  55. Hurry, Josh. Stop it. Stop it before you see enough that their parents can put you in jail.
  56. But still try to be the cool counselor.
  57. Run, hurry. Stop them before shirts-
  58. SHIRTS ARE OFF.
  59. She's wearing her bathing suit from free swim under but still.
  60. From here on out, no one is allowed to kiss ever. The campers have abused kissing.
  61. Ok, don't startle them.
  62. And don't be creepy.
  63. "Well, what do we have here?"
  64. BETSY SCREAMED AND JUMPED IN THE WATER.
  65. I HAVE TO GO AFTER HER.
  66. NO, I FEEL WEIRD ABOUT CHASING HER AFTER KEVIN HAS BEEN MAKING OUT WITH HER FOR TWENTY MINUTES.
  67. I guess... I guess I let her swim to shore?
  68. She's not technically my camper.
  69. "Betsy, go to your bunk!"
  70. Jeez.
  71. Do I punish him?
  72. I really don't know what the move is here.
  73. "No, don't try to 'Hockawalla Hocka-forever' me. You are in trouble."
  74. He wants to know why.
  75. Why IS he in trouble? What's camp policy on exactly how much kissing you can do?
  76. "Because you made out too much."
  77. Look at Kevin's grin.
  78. I just made him a camp legend.