The Thoughts of a Corsage Who Fell for a Boutonnière at the Harding High School Junior Prom

  1. Oh God... I'm a pink corsage. A bright pink corsage.
  2. This is mortifying.
  3. No one wants a bright pink corsage. I should just stay at home and die.
  4. Oh God, here comes a boy. He will never pick a bright pink corsage.
  5. His name is Alex, and he's texting his date to ask what color her dress is, and that's so stupid adorable I can't handle it.
  6. It's green. His date's dress is green.
  7. Go with the white corsages, Alex. They are pretty and popular and aren't big weirdos who don't know to handle prom.
  8. Alex wants me.
  9. No, Alex, no. Pink does not go with green. Your date is going to look like a teenage watermelon.
  10. Oh God, he bought me. This is terrible. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
  11. Alex looks so good and is so nervous, and I'm just going to disappoint him and make his date hate him.
  12. He just asked Siri to put on his "Prom Pump-Up Mix." That's so lame and great.
  13. Apparently we are doing photos before at Jennifer H's house? Who is Jennifer H? She is going to have a white corsage like everyone else, and I'm going to look like an ugly weed in the photos.
  14. Alex, you cute try-hard, leave me in the car with your gross lacrosse bags and the 30-rack of Keystone Lite you poorly hid under a hoodie for later.
  15. Jennifer H's house is too big.
  16. Oh, Alex, your date Elena is so pretty.
  17. Please do not make her wear me.
  18. He just unveiled me and said, "it's bright and different and made me think of you."
  19. First of all, awwwwww; I am rooting for you, Alex. Second of all, she probably took that to mean you think she's weird, so let's be better about word choice.
  20. He just put me on Elena's arm, and he and I were definitely shaking.
  21. Hi Elena, I'm sorry I ruined prom. You can take me off once you get to the gym so dancing is easier.
  22. Ugh, she got him a normal white boutonnière, so I'm the only spaz here.
  23. The boutonnière is struggling to pin on Alex's lapel. Be better, dude. This is hard for Elena.
  24. Oh God, Elena's mom had to step in to help pin it. That's so funny.
  25. The boutonnière is being kind of funny about the whole thing.
  26. I think he keeps dropping upside down on purpose to make me laugh.
  27. Photos already?! Why do we have to document everything? This is so dumb.
  28. Look floral and appropriately budding.
  29. The boutonnière is right up against Elena's back, and she's wearing a sleeveless dress, so that's uncomfortable for everyone.
  30. He dropped upside down again. Fix him, Elena.
  31. You just want to brush up against him.
  32. So what? It's prom, isn't it?
  33. Oh god, we touched, and I swear he wilted a little bit.
  34. Shut up, he would never like you. You're a bright pink corsage. Every other girl here has a white or a tasteful light blue.
  35. Except for Shannon, who, according to what Carrie Kelly whispered to Elena, picked out her own single orchid corsage because she didn't trust Mikey Abelson to remember to get her one.
  36. The boutonnière is staring at me from across the room as the girls all take a field hockey picture. Stare back, but play it cool.
  37. I think he bloomed.
  38. He's a dying rose. He can't bloom. Stop being stupid. You're stupid. Prom is stupid. Love is for the pretty girls.
  39. Jennifer H is telling Elena how good Alex looks and says she should definitely make that happen.
  40. Agreed, Elena. I mean, have you seen his boutonnière?
  41. Limo time. Elena, stay back. We have to ride with Alex. For your sake, not because of the boutonnière. Although not, NOT because of the boutonnière. Like, if that was a thing, I would like that, but if it's not, that's cool too.
  42. Jesus Christ, more photos? Were the ones in front of Jennifer H's gazebo not enough? Oh, photos with the limo now? I get that, I guess.
  43. Don't look up at him. Don't look up at him. Play it cool.
  44. Woah...
  45. He just dropped a petal on me.
  46. Like, what does that even mean?
  47. Oh God, now I have to be next to him on the limo. How's a corsage supposed to respond to that? Do I drop a petal? Is that a thing floral arrangements do when they are interested in other floral arrangements? They just drop a petal?
  48. Is that slutty?
  49. Like, can traditionally male flower arrangements get away with doing that but traditionally female flower arrangements can't? If so, that's not fair. We should change that.
  50. Am I even interested? I mean, I just met him. But I just met everything. I was created today. But if I was created just for today, and something felt right, wouldn't that be a sign? Like, of all the prom gatherings in all the schools in all of Montgomery County, we both happened to be in the same Harding High prom group at Jennifer H's house?
  51. Oh, get over yourself, corsage.
  52. I'm just going to sit on Elena's wrist. The boutonnière probably doesn't even know I exist.
  53. Jennifer H's older sister Becky bought her a handle of tequila to share with everyone in the limo, but Alex looked at Elena and said "maybe after?" and Elena agreed.
  54. We're finally here. Thank God. I'm pretty sure it's messed up I didn't respond to that whole petal thing.
  55. Turns out Carrie was right and the rumor that Principal Macallan got a breathalyzer wasn't true, so Ricky is good to sneak in the flask.
  56. Ok, so when Alex and Elena dance together I'll be right next to the boutonnière, and I can brush up against him and sort of see if it was a fluke or not.
  57. Don't get your hopes up, ok? You're an ugly, pink bundle of artificially dyed rose heads and baby's breath.
  58. Wait, why is Alex walking to the coat check?
  59. Alex, do not check your coat. I don't care how hot it gets in there. You are a gentleman. I know you are. You packed an extra umbrella in your car because you were nervous about rain.
  60. He's gone. I missed my chance.
  61. Now I have to hang out on Elena's wrist until I become too annoying, and she throws me out like the trash that I am.
  62. Really, Alex? You're going to go talk to the lacrosse boys in the corner? Elena is right here.
  63. I guess we should just dance, girl.
  64. I'm browning around my edges. At least this music is loud, and it's dark enough that I can decay unnoticed.
  65. God, this sucks. I knew I shouldn't have even gone to prom.
  66. All the other corsages are happy and able to have a good time, and I'm just not.
  67. I let myself get excited about a boutonnière just because he noticed me, and now I have the audacity to be like "why isn't the one nice person in my life in love with me?"
  68. Throw me in the garbage, Elena. I'm slowing you down, and I'm not even dripping petals to the beat. They are falling everywhere indiscriminately.
  69. I can't believe I'm going to die alone at the Harding High School Junior Prom.
  70. Elena isn't even having a good time because Alex is nowhere to be seen. She's trying to be a champ about it, and it's not helping that every single girl is like "why is Alex ignoring you?" If Elena knew why Alex was ignoring her, she wouldn't be dancing with you guys, so why don't you just keep flirting with the sophomore doing coat check, Shannon.
  71. Wait, who is this clown in the red boutonnière asking Elena to dance?
  72. May as well, right?
  73. Really cool red rose, boutonnière. Way to match this guy's pocket square. What kind of guy still has his jacket on halfway through prom anyways? This guy definitely bought his own boutonnière. Oh boy, that must have sucked, buying yourself a flower. Now I feel bad. A lot of people probably have to do that.
  74. Lay off, at least they are paying us attention. This boutonnière seems nice enough.
  75. He's nailed to the guy's jacket with five safety pins. He would never fall to make me laugh.
  76. Oh, look at Alex watching. Step in, you coward. Pretend this is the Prom Pump-Up Mix.
  77. He's not going to. That was probably the last slow song, and I'm almost all gone.
  78. Carrie is so drunk. What's she even saying?
  79. She just keeps slurring about how Alex remembered how into pink flowers Elena was in middle school, so he's obviously into her, but Elena is all like "whatever we are probably better as friends anyway, and I don't want to make things weird."
  80. I didn't know Alex picked me because of that... Well, a lot of good that did.
  81. I barely have any flowers left. Shannon threw her corsage during a Rihanna song, and Carrie lost hers in the bushes with Ricky Johnson. Any minute now, I will cease to be. What a fun life...
  82. Jennifer H says the limo is leaving now to beat the parking lot traffic, so everyone needs to go. She also wants to know if anyone has seen TJ, because he's been acting weird all night.
  83. I can't believe we are waiting for Alex outside coat check after how terrible he was all prom.
  84. Oh perfect, the DJ is playing one last slow song to send everyone home. Elena, throw me away. I'm dying, and I barely have any petals left...
  85. Alex has his jacket. The boutonnière is yellow and rumpled and damn it he's so cute. I hate that he is seeing me like this.
  86. What? Elena is demanding a dance.
  87. Um, I'm with Alex. You guys are going to miss the limo. The only fun part of prom is the afterparty anyway.
  88. She wants a dance if he wants a dance. After all, they have been friends forever.
  89. He smiled and said yes. Jennifer H is going to be so mad.
  90. I am barely a corsage anymore. Any minute now I could fall apart. I don't want to...
  91. Oh God, I'm right next to him. Be like Elena. Make a move.
  92. ...
  93. I don't have any petals left to drop.
  94. So I guess I should just enjoy this dance with him.
  95. My baby's breath is tangled in his baby's breath, and Alex and Elena are scared to kiss, and I am about to die.
  96. I'm glad I met him, even if I didn't know how to show it.
  97. I wonder if he liked me.