The Thoughts of a Glass a Waitress Accidentally Shatters as People in the Restaurant Go "WOAAAAAH!"

  1. Stacey, your grip is slipping.
  2. Stacey, you can't hold four beers at the same time. Put us down or get a tray.
  3. Stacey, do not get distracted by that table asking for the check. FOCUS UP. This is my life.
  4. I'm... slipping.
  5. Other glasses, get to your table. Live a long life. It was an honor to serve with you.
  6. Good...bye...
  7. AHHHHHHH!
  8. OH GOD.
  9. OH MY GOD.
  10. I'M A MILLION SHARDS OF GLASS NOW.
  11. GOOD LORD, THIS HURTS.
  12. Are...
  13. Are the humans in the restaurant yelling a sarcastic "woah"?
  14. ARE THEY CLAPPING?!
  15. I'M FUCKING DYING HERE, YOU SICK FREAKS.
  16. Oh God. OH GOD. I HAVE BEEN SHATTERED INTO A MILLION PIECES, AND EVERYONE HAS RESPONDED WITH A SARCASTIC "Good job."
  17. I HOPE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU STEPS ON ME, AND I CAN MOCK YOU AS YOU SLOWLY BLEED OUT.
  18. OH GOD, STACEY DON'T TOUCH ME. DON'T CLEAN ME UP. THAT HURTS EVEN MORE.
  19. I'm... dying. This... is it.
  20. The monsters known as humans continue to laugh at Stacey and me.
  21. I satiated you people. I kissed you people.
  22. I poured my heart and soul out to you people.
  23. And as I die, I have to listen to a loud man in a Mets jersey yell "HEY NOW!" at the sound of my body violently colliding with the ground.
  24. I was too good for this world. I don't want to live in a world where everyone in a restaurant yells "WOAH" when someone makes an embarrassing mistake.
  25. No wonder this country is going to hell.
  26. Do... do you think there's a glass heaven?
  27. Where glasses can run and jump all day and never be fragile?
  28. SWEET GUINNESS, I SEE IT. I SEE THE LIGHT.
  29. Goodbye, you pieces of garbage.