The Thoughts of a Google Doodle Designer Tasked With Creating a Doodle for "Pack a Lunch Day"

  1. Wait, really?
  2. Pack a Lunch Day? That's a real thing? A real thing we're celebrating?
  3. What? Why?
  4. What am I supposed to do with that?
  5. I guess each letter is a food and when you scroll over the "Google" they all go into a brown paper bag.
  6. I'm reading this right, correct?
  7. Yes, Linds, it says "Pack a Lunch Day."
  8. There are all sorts of silly holidays. Why does this one need a doodle?
  9. I'm coming off Marie Curie's birthday, which was beautiful and cool with the germs and bacteria, and they assign me "Pack a Lunch Day"?
  10. I'm calling Ben. This is ridiculous.
  11. "Hey Ben? Yeah, Ben, of course this is about Pack a Lunch Day. NO, I WILL NOT BE PACKING A LUNCH."
  12. Ben is such a smart-ass.
  13. "What is this-"
  14. He says if I do this, he will give me Easter.
  15. That's one of the big five.
  16. "You mean it?"
  17. He says if I do a good job, it's all mine. They just desperately need a March 10th doodle.
  18. Why not just leave it the normal "Google"? People are going to forget what that looks like if we do this everyday.
  19. Ok, let's get creative. Pack a Lunch Day.
  20. Maybe it's like a whole grocery store! And you get to pick food like Supermarket Sweeps.
  21. But, where does the "Google" come in, Lindsey?
  22. God, I could do art if I didn't have to shoehorn in that stupid "Google."
  23. What if the G in Google is like an open lunch bag?
  24. Don't make the "O"s fruits, Lindsey. There is nothing hackier in a Google Doodle than making the O's fruits.
  25. Well, besides making them eyes, which you totally do all the time.
  26. I mean, how was I not going to make the "O"s the glasses of Dr. T.J. Eckleberg for the 90th anniversary of The Great Gatsby?
  27. I should just animate a half-hour video that people have to sit through of a mom slowly and thoughtfully packing lunch for her children.
  28. That'll show Ben.
  29. There's really nothing better for March 10th than Pack a Lunch Day?
  30. It's gotta be like, Freda Pinto's birthday or something.
  31. Let's see, Google March 10th.
  32. Oh damn, Vic did today's doodle. It's really good. Tchaikovsky's birthday.
  33. Wow, I can make the dancers dance Swan Lake with my mouse. This is fun.
  34. Ok, focus, Linds. You're just as good as Vic.
  35. He makes the "O"s eyes sometimes too.
  36. Ok, March 10th...
  37. It's Osama Bin Laden's birthday!
  38. No, right?
  39. It's also Jon Hamm's birthday.
  40. If I did a Jon Hamm doodle, everyone would think he died.
  41. It's also Blueberry Popover Day. What the hell is Blueberry Popover Day?
  42. Ok, in 241 BC, March 10th was the Battle of the Aegates Islands, where the Romans sank the Carthaginian fleet bringing the First Punic War to an end.
  43. I don't think enough people know about that.
  44. WAIT, MARCH 10TH IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL'S FIRST PHONE CALL?!
  45. THAT'S BASICALLY THE ETHOS OF A GOOGLE DOODLE.
  46. Call Ben.
  47. "Hey Ben, did you know March 10th is-"
  48. He does know it's the anniversary of the first phone call, but he says we do that every year.
  49. And Google is trying to stay away from old-timey black and white doodles.
  50. Everyone loves old-timey black and white doodles.
  51. "I'd make it sepia!"
  52. Ben says everyone is really excited about Pack a Lunch Day, but if I'm not up for it, Vic can do it.
  53. "Fine. And don't you dare give Vic Easter too."
  54. Vic's Christmas Doodle made me cry.
  55. The "L" and the "E" doing a whole gift of the Magi thing? Genius.
  56. Ok, Pack a Lunch Day.
  57. I'm definitely eating at the cafeteria on March 10th.
  58. Maybe it's a brown paper bag, with a note that's like "Have a great day! -Google," and if you click it, it opens up and reveals food?
  59. That's... fine.
  60. That's so acceptable.
  61. That's not "give Lindsey Easter" good though.
  62. I should ask Vic if he has any ideas.
  63. NO.
  64. But it's PACK A LUNCH DAY. WHERE ELSE CAN I GO?!
  65. What else can I do? You either pack the lunch or it's been packed for you, right?
  66. Ok, let's do a cabinet that opens up and cans and stuff are shaped like "GOOGLE" and you pick what you want and put it in a bag?
  67. That's pretty good, Lindsey. It's interactive yet intuitive. The first rule of Doodles is that they shouldn't require any user thinking whatsoever.
  68. I can work with this. Watch out, Vic. I'm going to make this beautiful.
  69. I hate the word "Google" more than anyone has ever hated anything.
  70. But I am going to make the "L" a fruit roll-up.