The Thoughts of a Rodeo Cowboy Who's Pretty Sure He Lost His Phone on the Last Ride

  1. WOOOO-IE! That bull was an angry son of a gun!
  2. I bet I score at least a 43 on that one!
  3. Alright, let me grab my stuff over by the fence post.
  4. Wallet, keys...
  5. Where's my phone?
  6. I always put all my stuff right by the fencepost when I ride.
  7. Did I ride with my phone in my jeans?
  8. I think I did.
  9. Check your boots.
  10. Why would my phone be in my boots?
  11. I don't know, Taylor. Why would you phone be in your jeans when you ride?
  12. I think it definitely fell out when I was riding the bull.
  13. It's out there on the mud somewhere.
  14. There's a lot of rodeo left.
  15. I guess I don't have a phone anymore.
  16. I need that phone. I haven't backed up anything on the cloud.
  17. I keep meaning to, but I don't know my iCloud password.
  18. The phone has Kristina's number from the other night, and it's not like I can look her up on Facebook. I made such a stink at the bar about how I needed her number because I'm a cowboy and cowboys don't have Facebook.
  19. I should just join Facebook.
  20. Oh man, with every ride, the chances of a bull stepping on my phone increase.
  21. I have to run out and grab it real quick after one of the rides.
  22. The problem is the bulls.
  23. It'll be fine. John the bullfighter will distract the bull.
  24. Wait for Dusty to finish his ride.
  25. Ok, he fell.
  26. Now jump the gate and pretend like you're helping Dusty up.
  27. Ok, now look for your phone.
  28. I don't see it. Everything is just mud.
  29. The bull is coming, Taylor.
  30. You need to leave.
  31. Stop looking for your phone. A bull is charging at you.
  32. Yeah, but I have a feeling it's in this general area.
  33. Run, run. He's right behind you.
  34. Jump up on the fence.
  35. Bulls are far and away the worst part of this job.
  36. I think I may have to tell someone I lost my phone.
  37. Ugh, and then everyone is going to stop everything to try to look for it.
  38. Losing your phone is the rudest thing you can do to the people around you.
  39. Maybe the Rodeo Clown can casually look for it while doing his routines.
  40. "Howdy Chuckle! Hey if you see my phone out there, let me know. It's no big deal."
  41. Oh man, Chuckle just announced over the loudspeaker that the audience should look out for my phone.
  42. The bulls are in the pen, so all the riders are out on the mud looking for it.
  43. This entire event is now about how I lost my phone.
  44. This is humiliating.
  45. Cowboys shouldn't even have phones.
  46. The problem is every single other person has phones.
  47. We are never going to find it.
  48. I should give up.
  49. I really liked Kristine from the bar though. She did that whole "I don't date cowboys" thing all cowboys like.
  50. Dusty wants to know if he should call it.
  51. "Yeah you can try. It's on vibrate though, so we probably won't hear-."
  52. Chuckle just asked the arena to please be quiet so we could listen to the vibrations in the mud.
  53. You know you've ruined the Rodeo when they stop playing Luke Bryant over the loudspeaker.
  54. Wait I think I hear it.
  55. "It's over here somewhere."
  56. Twenty cowboys are kicking around the mud in circle looking for my phone.
  57. It stopped.
  58. Dusty is calling it again.
  59. The arena is deathly quiet.
  60. There are five thousand people here tonight.
  61. You can hear the wind.
  62. I'm crawling in the mud on all fours.
  63. Thank God Kristine refused to see me come because of the whole animal cruelty aspect.
  64. Wait.
  65. "I FOUND IT!"
  66. Thunderous applause.
  67. Luke Bryant just roared back to life.
  68. "YEE-HAW!!!"
  69. Clean it off.
  70. Oh, it's absolutely shattered.
  71. That makes sense. It fell when I was riding a bull.
  72. Wait, who's yelling my name?
  73. Kristine came!
  74. Oh man, she saw all that.