The Thoughts of a Teacher Who Can't Remember If This Fire Alarm Was Scheduled or Not

  1. What the...
  2. "Alright class, keep calm. Everyone form a single file line."
  3. DAMN IT, NICOLE, WAS THIS ONE SCHEDULED?!
  4. OR IS THE SCHOOL ACTUALLY ON FIRE?
  5. "Kyle, keep your hands to yourself. You're in 7th grade. I shouldn't have to tell you that."
  6. THINK, NICOLE, THINK. DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
  7. I NEVER READ THE EMAILS THOROUGHLY.
  8. PRINCIPAL MOORE SENDS TOO MANY EMAILS.
  9. AND SHE BOLDS RANDOM SENTENCES, SO NORMALLY I ONLY READ THE BOLD PARTS.
  10. BUT THE UNBOLD PARTS ARE ALWAYS IMPORTANT INFORMATION TOO.
  11. I STRAIGHT UP HAD NO IDEA ABOUT CAREER DAY UNTIL DOCTORS STARTED WALKING IN THE CLASSROOM.
  12. "Sarah, it's ok. We've practiced this."
  13. IS IT OK THOUGH, NICOLE?
  14. WE HAD A FIRE DRILL THREE WEEKS AGO.
  15. WOULD THEY REALLY HAVE ONE SO SOON?
  16. "Victor, do not grab your pencil case from your locker. We have to go meet at the flagpole."
  17. QUICK, NICOLE, THINK. WAS IT SCHEDULED ON THE WHITEBOARD IN THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE UNDER ALL THE INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES?
  18. THERE'S TOO MANY FLIERS.
  19. COACH MERCER SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO ADVERTISE HIS BAND IN THERE.
  20. DO I SMELL SMOKE?
  21. DON'T LET THE CHILDREN NOTICE YOU SNIFFING, NICOLE.
  22. ONE OF THE KIDS ACCIDENTALLY BURNED DOWN THE SCHOOL. I JUST KNOW IT.
  23. IT'S A MIRACLE THIS HASN'T HAPPENED YET.
  24. "Oh Susie. Stop crying."
  25. I DON'T WANT TO BURN TO DEATH NEXT TO LITTLE SUSIE MOORE.
  26. SUSIE MOORE SUCKS.
  27. NICOLE, CALM DOWN.
  28. Even if it's real. We've had drills. We are prepared for this.
  29. Oh look, there's Ken and his 8th graders.
  30. Ken has read the emails.
  31. Give Ken a "was this fire drill planned" look.
  32. KEN SHRUGGED AND LOOKED ALARMED.
  33. THE SCHOOL IS ON FIRE.
  34. "Everything is ok, children. I am an adult, and I know what's going on."
  35. QUICKEN YOUR PACE, YOU TERRIBLE LITTLE MONSTERS.
  36. I REFUSE TO GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP BECAUSE YEARS OF FIRE ALARMS HAVE MADE YOU SOFT.
  37. "Hey Louis buddy, you want to maybe hurry it up a little?"
  38. WHY DID LOUIS HAVE TO BE ON CRUTCHES THE WEEK OF THIS FIRE.
  39. CHILDREN'S BONES ARE TOO WEAK. I WOULD NEVER BREAK MY LEG ON A SLIDE.
  40. GOD, THAT ALARM IS TERRIBLE.
  41. YES, CLUTCH YOUR EARS, MADDY KELLER, SO YOU CAN'T HEAR MY INSTRUCTIONS. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
  42. FIRE TRUCKS. I HEAR FIRE TRUCKS.
  43. IT'S REAL.
  44. THE CHILDREN HEAR THEM TOO.
  45. "HEY EVERYONE. YOU KNOW HOW WE PLAYED RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT EARLIER? WELL, GREEN LIGHT. GREEN LIGHT."
  46. STOP RUNNING PAST THE CHILDREN, NICOLE.
  47. OH, THE CHILDREN ARE SPRINTING.
  48. "DON'T RUN. WALK BRISKLY."
  49. WE DID IT! WE MADE IT OUTSIDE.
  50. Principal Moore!
  51. Don't let her see that you are sweating, Nicole.
  52. As far as she is concerned, no one ran.
  53. "So... where's the fire?"
  54. Very casual way to ask where a fire is, Nicole.
  55. Wait.
  56. It was a planned fire drill. It's been on the schedule for months.
  57. "But the trucks?"
  58. The fire trucks were because a student broke his wrist trying to escape the fire drill.
  59. I understand why we have these.