The Thoughts of a Toll Booth Operator Who Just Saw His Ex Drive by in the E-ZPass Lane Next to His

  1. "$8.00 please. Thank you. Have a nice day."
  2. "That'll be $8.00."
  3. "$8.00."
  4. Wait, was that Sheryl's Prius in the next lane?
  5. That was definitely Sheryl's Prius.
  6. Sheryl got an E-ZPass.
  7. Sheryl got an E-ZPass, so she didn't have to see me.
  8. "Oh sorry sir, that'll be $8.00."
  9. Sheryl does not go into the city enough to justify her getting an E-ZPass.
  10. And she knows how I feel about the E-ZPass.
  11. Wow.
  12. I thought we were going to make it work.
  13. "$8.00 please. Thanks."
  14. I mean I saw online that she was kinda seeing someone, but I didn't think it was this serious.
  15. I wonder if the new guy made her do it.
  16. Maybe he got all "Sheryl, I can't have you seeing your ex at his toll booth. Get an E-ZPass."
  17. If that's true, that's messed up. What I love about Sheryl is that nobody can tell her what to do.
  18. Loved. What I loved about Sheryl.
  19. You gotta use past tense, Chuck.
  20. "Sorry, yeah $8.00. Out of $20, that's $12 back. Oops. Dropped it. My apologies."
  21. This is good.
  22. Now you won't anxiously peer into each car, hoping it's her.
  23. You know you do that.
  24. This is probably because of last week.
  25. When I wouldn't raise the barrier and let her through till she heard what I had to say.
  26. That was a bad move, Chuck.
  27. It was so romantic in your mind.
  28. And nothing you practiced came out.
  29. There was so much honking.
  30. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. $8."
  31. Sheryl said this was a break.
  32. Breaks end.
  33. "Oh yeah, your change."
  34. All these drivers need to calm down, jeez.
  35. What was I thinking about?
  36. Oh yeah, Sheryl.
  37. Always Sheryl.
  38. She's over you. She has a new guy.
  39. She has an E-ZPass.
  40. Let it go.
  41. But isn't that the romantic thing? To fight for love?
  42. I just want to know I did everything I could to fix us.
  43. "YEAH, RANDOM STRANGER YELLING AT ME TO TAKE HIS MONEY, I DO THINK YOU SHOULD GET AN E-ZPASS. THEY HELP WITH TRAFFIC AND END UP BEING CHEAPER FOR YOU OVERALL. I ADMIT IT. SUE ME."
  44. "FOR CHRIST SAKES, STOP HONKING AT ME, SIR. IF YOU'RE IN SUCH A HURRY, GET AN E-ZPASS."
  45. Oh man, both me and this stranger are crying now.
  46. It's over, isn't it?
  47. With Sheryl.
  48. It is.
  49. "Sorry I yelled at you, sir."
  50. "$8.00, though."