The Thoughts of a Winter Storm Anxiously Awaiting Its Name

  1. Come on, come on, come on. Give me a good one. Let's go.
  2. I'm thinking Martha. Or Rose.
  3. Rose is so pretty. I feel like a Rose.
  4. So what is it?
  5. Jonas?
  6. My name is goddamn Jonas?!
  7. I'm a female-identifying winter storm, for God's sakes.
  8. I look nothing like a Jonas.
  9. You can tell from the Super-Doppler photos.
  10. Jonas sounds like a series of flurries.
  11. Like "Hi, I'm Jonas. Is it ok if I give you 3-5 inches of snow? I can come back later, because I'm Jonas and I sound like someone's little brother's friend."
  12. I'm a mighty Rose.
  13. I'm going to crush the entire Eastern seaboard.