The Thoughts of Charles Schulz As He Tried to Jam a Mother's Day Reference Into a "Peanuts" Strip

  1. Alright, Sunday comic time. I get to work with colors!
  2. When will this baby run?
  3. Oh...
  4. Oh, boo.
  5. This is the Mother's Day strip.
  6. Every goddamn year.
  7. It's always a Sunday too. There's no escaping it.
  8. I've done this for years, and this is the one holiday that doesn't get any easier.
  9. Like, what do I do?
  10. None of them have moms.
  11. "Peanuts" takes place in a famously parentless world.
  12. It's, like, the point kinda.
  13. Sure they have parents, but they are all very far away.
  14. Every parent in "Peanuts" is permanently at a work thing.
  15. So now all of a sudden Schroder's mom is going to be a character we all have to know?
  16. I don't fucking think so.
  17. Like, I've established that none of the adults can talk.
  18. What am I going to do?
  19. Linus's mom, represented by a pair of legs: "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."
  20. Linus: "I love you too, Ma."
  21. That's not going to fly.
  22. I'm not breaking the world of this thing just for this stupid holiday.
  23. Just do what you always do, Schulz, and have Snoopy get a phone call and look real harassed and then Charlie comes in and says "Forgot Mother's Day again?"
  24. Yes, it suddenly causes the reader to realize all of these characters have mothers looming just off page, but it preserves the integrity of the strip.
  25. I mean, Charlie's mom is definitely dead, right?
  26. In my Charles Schulz mind-canon, Charlie is genuinely fending for himself.
  27. I guess Lucy can set up a "Mother" stand?
  28. That's your crutch, Schulz, and you know it.
  29. Just don't even mention it.
  30. Yeah, yeah. We just have a normal "Charlie being depressed" strip.
  31. That almost brings more attention to the fact that none of them have mothers though.
  32. I mean, shit, do they?
  33. Like, you think Pig Pen has a mother who allowed him to get like that?
  34. No chance.
  35. There's definitely moms in this universe, I think.
  36. Woodstock has a mom, but that's just because he's a bird we can't understand.
  37. I've had characters be like "I'm telling mom" or "mom says to do this" before.
  38. And every year I have some character working on some thank you card for Mother's Day, shattering the carefully constructed pretense that mothers are barely a factor in the Peanutsverse.
  39. Plus, why would Sally write her mom a Thank You letter? Her mom, like all mothers in town, has abandoned her.
  40. It's really sad.
  41. I'm normally so good at holidays. They are my thing.
  42. I wish I could just do another Great Pumpkin, but, like, for Mother's Day.
  43. The Great Mother comes and takes care of all of them.
  44. That would be nice.
  45. I think they all could really use that.
  46. Maybe Linus can give a speech about how the true mom is Mary, Jesus's mom?
  47. You've already done all this, Schulz, you hack.
  48. What if the Little Red-Headed Girl turns out to be Charlie's mom?
  49. You can't just add a surprise twist. This isn't "Mary Worth."
  50. What about...
  51. Peppermint Patty: In theory, moms are good.
  52. Macie: Yes, sir, I've heard some people have mothers worth celebrating.
  53. And then an empty panel.
  54. I think that's unacceptable.
  55. Whatever, no one really expects a concrete joke in a comic strip anyway.
  56. No one is snorting milk out of their nose and into their bowl of Wheaties thanks to my Mother's Day strip.
  57. Maybe I'll just give Charlie the one win I let him have every five years.
  58. Charlie: Hey, sister, what are you up to?
  59. Sally: I'm thanking mom for raising us right.
  60. A single tear rolls down Charlie's face.
  61. Yeah, sure, let's do that.
  62. This is all such horseshit. I'm doing some cool Snoopy as the Red Baron shit for Father's Day.