Thoughts of a Billionaire Accepting That His Ex Is Gone & Now He Has to Change the Name of the Yacht

  1. Oh, God, the boat is still called the Mary Elise.
  2. I can't believe I forgot to change the name of the boat.
  3. I should buy another boat.
  4. Call it the "Serendipity" or whatever.
  5. Charles, that's ridiculous. You love this yacht. It's custom designed by you.
  6. It has a jacuzzi with lights that sync up to any song I want.
  7. That was her idea.
  8. I just have to change the name is all.
  9. I'm supposed to leave in an hour for two weeks in the French Riviera.
  10. Can they change the name of the boat that quickly?
  11. Are there like forms we have to fill out?
  12. God, I don't know how anything works anymore.
  13. Call Allison and have her figure it out.
  14. Allison should have reminded me about the Mary Elise.
  15. Charles, it's not your assistant's job to remind you that your boat is named after your ex-fiancé.
  16. Allison did send her all those cars from me, so she knows we were having trouble.
  17. This isn't Allison's fault, Charles.
  18. It's Mary's.
  19. No, it's not. It's mine.
  20. No, stop. Don't think that way. It's no one's fault. Sometimes two people can love each other so deeply, but they still aren't right for each other. It's the saddest thing in the world, and it happens to so many of us.
  21. This caviar tastes terrible.
  22. Everyone thinks I'm going to like caviar because of the money, but it's gross.
  23. You know what I like?
  24. Pizza.
  25. Like everyone else. Money doesn't change that.
  26. Mary liked caviar, or at least the idea of it.
  27. Suck it up, Charles. Finish your lunch and walk across the dock to that boat and just ride it.
  28. But every day I will see her name emblazoned on the side.
  29. And on the uniforms of the 15-person staff.
  30. Christ, I totally forgot the staff's uniforms say "The Mary Elise."
  31. I don't think we can get new uniforms in an hour that say "the Seas a Day" or whatever terrible boat pun I'll rename it.
  32. I'm going to have to buy another boat.
  33. I don't want another boat.
  34. The Mary Elise has a recording studio, just in case I run into Jay-Z or Paul McCartney or whoever.
  35. Imagine if one of them recorded a song on my yacht. That'd be amazing.
  36. Plus, the Mary Elise has the least scary helipad of any yacht I've flown into.
  37. I miss her so much.
  38. I tried. She knows I tried, I hope.
  39. I'd buy her that island she liked, but then I'd prove her right. I do try to use money to fix everything.
  40. Money wasn't enough to keep our spark alive.
  41. But it certainly is enough to buy this $3500 bottle of champagne at a lunch alone on a random Wednesday.
  42. Cheers, Charles. You are so sad.
  43. I can tell the difference between $100 bottles of champagne and $3500 bottles though. That's something I am actually pretty good at.
  44. This would go so well with like Domino's pizza.
  45. I'm going to cancel this whole trip.
  46. Have Allison contact the princes and whoever else I was going to meet up with to take my mind off her.
  47. Leo will be devastated.
  48. But I can't do it. I can't spend two weeks on a floating reminder of my failed relationship.
  49. I should call M.E.
  50. Why? It felt like you were breaking up for a year, and both of you just loved each other too much to cut ties completely. At least she had the guts to finally just end it.
  51. I should have let her keep the horses.
  52. I could rent a yacht, and then come back and have this yacht renamed while I'm gone.
  53. Yeah, I should still go.
  54. Admit it, Charles. You're hoping to run into her over there in the French Riviera. You know that's where she does most of her modeling.
  55. I just don't know what to do.
  56. Maybe I should take the private jet to my parents' place in Ohio. Haven't seen them in awhile. Mom would love that.
  57. Yeah, I'm going to do that.
  58. I really shouldn't be partying in the French Riviera right now.
  59. And I'll have the boat renamed "the Second Chance" in the meantime.
  60. Ok. Ok.
  61. Oh goddamnit, I forgot the jet is called the Eternal Love.