Thoughts of a Guy Named Greg Who Keeps Forgetting He Is Still Wearing a Name Tag From a Work Thing

  1. How did the bartender know my name?
  2. That was so weird.
  3. Do I know her?
  4. Is she that girl Josh used to date?
  5. Greg, she saw it on your card, dummy.
  6. Where is everyone from the seminar sitting?
  7. Ugh, this place is so crowded, but it was the closest bar to the convention center.
  8. Oh, whoops.
  9. "Sorry, sir. Didn't mean to spill my drink."
  10. He just smiled and said, "no problem, Greg."
  11. And then just walked away.
  12. Who was that?
  13. Maybe I met him at the Engaging Costumers Through Positive Thinking panel?
  14. I'm going to grab another drink.
  15. "Hello, sir, Maker's on the rocks."
  16. He just said "you got it, Greg."
  17. Did the other bartender tell him my name?
  18. Impressive service.
  19. "Thanks."
  20. A woman just said "excuse me, Greg" as she inched past me to the bar.
  21. I don't even know anyone in San Diego. I'm only here for work.
  22. Guess my "Connecting the World through 3D Advertising" talk really made an impression.
  23. Ok, find your co-workers.
  24. There, in the back.
  25. "Hey Rick, mind watching my drink while I go to the bathroom?"
  26. Where is the bathroom?
  27. I hate bars that don't have the bathrooms in intuitive places. A bathroom should be at the end of a long hallway or tucked around an obvious corner, not like behind a mirror.
  28. Here it is.
  29. Oh, the janitor is in there.
  30. "How long, sir?"
  31. He just said "Only a minute or two, Greg."
  32. How does the janitor know my name?
  33. Was he the janitor at the conference?
  34. Not every place in San Diego has the same janitor, Greg.
  35. I should ask him.
  36. Is it rude to ask someone how they know your name?
  37. That feels rude.
  38. Someone is behind me.
  39. "I'm in line. Janitor said it would be a moment."
  40. He said, "gotcha, Greg."
  41. Everyone in this bar knows my name.
  42. Oh no, am I internet famous?
  43. Did people see me fall at the airport? I thought no one saw.
  44. And did the airport tell whoever recorded me falling my name?
  45. Ask.
  46. "How do you know my name?"
  47. He looked confused and said "it's written on your chest."
  48. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
  49. I need to get out of here.
  50. Look, random woman you've never met. Ask her.
  51. "Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know my name?"
  52. She looks so frightened.
  53. But she looked me up and down and said "Greg?"
  54. Do I look this much like a Greg?
  55. A man just looked at me and said "hey, I'm Greg too!"
  56. Get out of this bar.
  57. Go, close out, and leave.
  58. "I'd like to close out."
  59. A beautiful woman sitting at the bar just said, "leaving so soon, Greg?"
  60. I've had enough.
  61. I'm standing on this barstool and taking a stand.
  62. "EXCUSE ME. It seems like everyone in this bar knows my name."
  63. Everyone in unison just said, "Greg."
  64. The bartender is threatening to call the police if I don't come down.
  65. "Well I don't know if this is a weird prank or if someone has been spreading rumors about me, but leave me alone!"
  66. "I'M COMING DOWN. JESUS."
  67. Hopefully everyone will leave me alone now.
  68. Oh, what does this woman at the bar want now?
  69. Oh.
  70. Oh god.
  71. Oh boy. The name tag.
  72. Do I stand back up and apologize?
  73. Go. Get out of this bar. Run.