Thoughts of a High Schooler Who Really Wants to Say No to a Promposal, But the Boy Rented a Circus

  1. Hurry, Anna, run.
  2. Get home before someone can prompose to you.
  3. Avoid all overly large boxes and beaches.
  4. It's the Friday two weeks before Prom. This is technically the last acceptable day to prompose.
  5. I hear violins down that hall. Go the other way, Anna.
  6. Avoid the stairwell and any place a banner can be unfurled.
  7. Get to your car. Get to the goddamn car.
  8. Oh no.
  9. Clowns.
  10. Clowns are juggling around my car.
  11. Here come the acrobats.
  12. This has drawn quite a crowd.
  13. I really just wanted to go to prom with the rest of the girls.
  14. Oh man. This is terrible.
  15. All right, who is it?
  16. Who is Promposing to me?
  17. Here comes a guy in stilts.
  18. NEAL MATTHEWS?!?
  19. No. No. No way am I going to prom with Neal Matthews just because he rented a circus.
  20. God, Neil would rent a circus. He had a sweet sixteen party at Six Flags in February.
  21. Our Six Flags isn't open in February. His parents had to fly in workers from the Six Flags in Florida.
  22. The roller coasters were so cold.
  23. I mean, I have to say yes, right?
  24. Everyone in school has gathered around the parking lot.
  25. Why is there a marching band? Circuses don't have marching bands.
  26. "Hey Neil."
  27. Oh, he's not done. The fire breathers need to do their thing.
  28. "Ok, I can wait."
  29. I promised Jenny and Kayla it would just be us three since Jenny and Ryan Tindler just broke up, and no one is going to ask Kayla because she's kinda mean.
  30. Now Neil's mom is going to take photos of me in front of their ugly new-age mansion.
  31. Ughhhhhhhrwwqaacbjheww.
  32. This fire is too close to my face.
  33. Neil is only asking me because Victoria Heller already got asked by Mark Reynolds.
  34. Neil ran for class president just so he could do a joke speech, and it wasn't even that funny.
  35. Neil Matthews kind of sucks.
  36. I'm going to say no. I don't want to go.
  37. HE GOT AN ELEPHANT?!
  38. THAT'S NOT SPECIFIC TO THE THEME. BARNUM AND BAILEY GOT RID OF THIER ELEPHANTS. CIRCUSES DON'T HAVE THEM ANYMORE.
  39. I can't say no to an elephant.
  40. YES YOU CAN, ANNA. ITS INHUMANE AND GUADY.
  41. Oh man, an elephant at a high school is a big hit.
  42. Everyone will be like "Neil brought Anna an elephant and she still said no."
  43. So many people are filming this.
  44. I think fireworks are going off, but it's daylight so I can't see them.
  45. I have to say yes.
  46. And my senior prom will always have been with Neil Matthews, the guy who sneaks in handles of his parents' Grey Goose into the women's volleyball championship.
  47. First of all, where were you during the regular season, Neil? Second of all, just wait until the party afterwards.
  48. I'm going to say no.
  49. WHY THE HELL IS JIMMY KIMMEL HERE?
  50. Goddamn it, Jimmy Kimmel, high school is hard enough without you interfering all the time.
  51. Oh man, this is going to be on TV in some sort of "I helped a young kid do the most epic Promposal ever. Take a look" thing.
  52. I have to say yes.
  53. Just ask, Neil. Get it over with.
  54. Oh, contortionists are spelling out "PROM?"
  55. Well, it says "PROM" followed by a squiggly man, but I guess it's hard to contort into a question mark.
  56. The elephant is helping Neil down from his stilts.
  57. And Jimmy Kimmel is doing his thing.
  58. Oh, here's a microphone.
  59. "Hi everyone."
  60. Neil and I barely talk. We've had English every year together because his parents make him take APs.
  61. He said you were hot once, Anna, and you smiled.
  62. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. STOP SMILE-SHAMING YOURSELF, ANNA.
  63. He's asking.
  64. Promposals are terrible. They are just elaborate ways to make it hard for people to say no.
  65. This is all for him too. This is so he looks tight to his friends.
  66. "No."
  67. ANNA, YOU SAID NO IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL, A CIRCUS, AND JIMMY KIMMEL.
  68. The band has stopped ABRUPTLY.
  69. I think the elephant knows.
  70. "It's just, I have plans already..."
  71. Neil killed the class salamander in 7th grade because he wanted to see if it could ride a skateboard.
  72. "And I don't really want to go with you to my Senior Prom."
  73. Just get in your car and drive.
  74. The clowns will get out of the way.