Thoughts of a Pikachu Balloon Handler in the Macey's Thanksgiving Parade Who Thinks He Might Let Go

  1. This is harder than I thought.
  2. There's 60 of us, each with a rope.
  3. But giant inflatable Pikachu is heavy.
  4. And I didn't get the gloves memo.
  5. So this rope HURTS.
  6. Come on, Paul, you begged your cousin at Macey's for this job. Stop complaining.
  7. Enjoy the New Yorkers cheering you on.
  8. This is nice.
  9. Pikachu is getting a weird amount of catcalls.
  10. I know he's naked and passing over you, but people are saying some vulgar stuff.
  11. This isn't fun.
  12. Wish I could check my phone.
  13. But this goddamn rope.
  14. These three team leader guys next to me are way into the "honor" of being a balloon handler.
  15. It's cold.
  16. And I'm at the mercy of an outdated cartoon rodent.
  17. I swear the P.S. 23 marching band only knows one song.
  18. Like, Sousa is nice, but if I have to hear "Stars and Stripes Forever" again, I'm going to lose it.
  19. It's not even a Thanksgiving song.
  20. I'm skipping Thanksgiving with my family for this.
  21. And dad doesn't have many Thanksgivings left.
  22. What if...
  23. What if I let go?
  24. And went home.
  25. Those team leader guys would freak out.
  26. But, like, there's 59 other people.
  27. I'm sure Pikachu will be fine.
  28. They probably overbook these things in case someone faints or gets bored and goes home.
  29. I'm going to let go for a second and see if this guy next to me like levitates or whatever.
  30. Nothing happened.
  31. No one floated away.
  32. I let go for a second and then grabbed it, and nothing bad happened.
  33. Pikachu is still trucking behind Toothless from "How to Train Your Dragon."
  34. I'm going to do it.
  35. I'm going to let go.
  36. And just casually walk through the P.S. 23 marching band and escape.
  37. Ok, just walk away.
  38. They are yelling at me.
  39. "Sorry, family emergency."
  40. Run.
  41. Wait, why did those three guys let go of their ropes to chase me?
  42. Guys, Pikachu.
  43. Oh no, everyone is struggling to keep Pikachu down.
  44. Ok, Paul, run back and grab a rope.
  45. The ropes are swinging all over the place.
  46. Oh no, oh no, more people are losing control and letting go off their ropes.
  47. New Yorkers are jumping the barricades to try to wrangle Pikachu.
  48. Paul, what have you done?
  49. So much screaming.
  50. The Buzz Lightyear balloon behind Pikachu can't stop.
  51. They have collided.
  52. Pikachu and Buzz are fighting.
  53. Oh, Paul.
  54. Oh boy.
  55. Pikachu is hitting the buildings.
  56. He's going to knock over scaffolding. This has gotten dangerous quickly.
  57. The P.S. 23 marching band is still playing for some reason.
  58. STOP. PLAYING.
  59. The NYPD has gotten involved.
  60. ARE THEY GOING TO SHOOT PIKACHU?
  61. No. They have ordered us to... let go.
  62. Pikachu is floating away.
  63. Way to go, Paul.
  64. I don't think this has happened before.
  65. Pikachu just floated above the Empire State Building.
  66. This is probably going to be on the Internet, right?
  67. Ok, Paul, run.