Thoughts of a Woman on a Date Who Said Sitting Outside Was Fine When It's Still Slightly Too Cold

  1. Look at Hunter, waiting outside.
  2. No flowers, thank God. What would I have done with flowers?
  3. "Hey!"
  4. Hug.
  5. He wants to know if I want to sit inside or outside.
  6. Oh, goddamn it.
  7. It's the first nice day.
  8. "Whatever is fine!"
  9. Erin, do not become a "whatever is fine" person.
  10. There's a few people outside.
  11. Make a decision.
  12. "Outside is fine!"
  13. He pulled out my chair for me, but he did it slightly ironically, almost like "if you hate that I'm doing this, it's because it's sort of a joke?"
  14. Stop poking holes in Hunter. Casey says he's nice, and he was really cool at her concert last weekend.
  15. But his name is Hunter.
  16. I don't want to be someone who is with a Hunter.
  17. "Right? It's the first nice day in a while."
  18. Waitress wants to know about drinks.
  19. Are we drinking? Is that a thing? Hunter, make that call.
  20. Oh, sick. We are.
  21. "I'll have a Corona."
  22. It's a little cold.
  23. It'll be fine.
  24. Sun's going down.
  25. "Yeah, I've known Casey forever. Since college at least. Same floor freshman year."
  26. Hunter says that's really cool. Yeah, dude, assigned housing is really "cool."
  27. Lay off Hunter. What else is he going to say? "Oh ok. Thank you for telling a fact."
  28. Oh damn, a breeze. How are these other people doing it?
  29. "So you and Casey did that music program together, she was telling me?"
  30. We are totally doing that thing on the first slightly nice day of March where everyone acts like it's nicer than it is.
  31. Don't shiver, Erin; don't shiver.
  32. Why did I wear open-toed shoes?
  33. It didn't occur to me we'd be outside.
  34. Frantically tap your feet. He can't see that. Just make sure you don't hit his shoes.
  35. Oh no. I touched something.
  36. Table leg or his leg? Table leg or his leg?
  37. That's a table leg. Phew.
  38. You haven't ordered yet. You can still go inside.
  39. "Oh thank you! Yes the Corona is me, and he ordered the IPA."
  40. I should have gotten an IPA too. Look like a college girl with my Corona.
  41. Oh. Are we ready to order?
  42. Say we should move inside.
  43. "Um... are you?"
  44. We are both trapped in a "are you ready to order?" eye lock.
  45. Just do the thing where both of you say "um, I think I am if you are."
  46. "Um, I think I am- oh good."
  47. It is cold.
  48. "Um, I'll have a chicken Caesar wrap. With curly fries."
  49. Sure, Erin. I guess that's what your getting. Total panic order.
  50. Oh no, I just shivered.
  51. He asked if I want to move inside.
  52. This is the moment. Just say yes.
  53. "No, it's so nice out."
  54. Wait, maybe he's cold.
  55. "Unless, you are-"
  56. He says no. It's gorgeous.
  57. This is your fault. You are stuck outside.
  58. .
  59. THOUGHTS OF THE GUY ON THE SAME DATE WHO ALSO SAID SITTING OUTSIDE WAS FINE WHEN IT'S STILL SLIGHTLY TOO COLD
  60. Damn. She still wants to sit outside.
  61. "No. It's gorgeous out."
  62. Just because it's sunny, that doesn't mean it's warm.
  63. And now I'm stuck with this gross IPA.
  64. Had I known she was getting a Corona, I would have gotten a Corona. Or like a Bud Lite.
  65. "So, Casey says you do graphic design?"
  66. Stop talking about Casey. You can't rely on your mutual friend forever.
  67. It is freezing outside.
  68. Tap your feet. She can't tell. Make movement.
  69. Do they not have like heaters? It's just slightly too cold?
  70. "Graphic design is really cool."
  71. Stop saying "cool," Hunter.
  72. "Oh thank you. Do you want another Corona? Yes? I'll have another IPA."
  73. Why did you order another IPA.
  74. Gust of wind. Quick, grab the napkins.
  75. She laughed and said we could go in.
  76. "No, it's great to just be outside after a long winter.
  77. Just admit you are cold, Hunter, you maniac. It's 2016. Guys can be cold.
  78. "So, any siblings?"
  79. .
  80. THE THOUGHTS OF ERIN, AGAIN, WHO HAS GOTTEN SIGNIFICANTLY COLDER
  81. "I have an older brother and a younger sister. You?"
  82. Bullshit he's not cold. It's dropped like ten degrees.
  83. Oh no, my foot touched his. He probably thinks I'm coming on to him a drink and a half in.
  84. .
  85. THE THOUGHTS OF HUNTER, WHO THINKS THE FOOT THING IS TOTALLY HIS FAULT
  86. "Only child, but was raised with a lot of cousins."
  87. You just touched her foot. A beer and a half in. She probably thinks you're such a creep.
  88. Oh, our food.
  89. "Yes-th-th-thank you. I'm the b-burger-"
  90. Stop. Shivering.
  91. The waitress says there's plenty of room inside.
  92. Erin, come on. Please.
  93. .
  94. THOUGHTS OF ERIN, WHO IS WAITING FOR HUNTER TO TELL THE WAITRESS THEY SHOULD GO INSIDE
  95. Hunter, please. I don't know if I can...
  96. "Y-y-yes, curly fr-fr-fries are me. GOD DAMN IT'S COLD. LET'S GO INSIDE."
  97. .
  98. THOUGHTS OF THE WAITRESS
  99. Oh my God, thank God. It is so cold.