THE MOST LIFE-CHANGING MADE-UP PERFECT DAY OF MY LIFE

Warning: escalated quickly
  1. Saturday:wake up at 7 (went to bed at 10:30)
  2. Jog for one hour in beautiful-ass park by my yellow house
  3. Shower and get dressed in Gap, Old Navy, or Banana Republic probably--lookin fresh as hell in basics
  4. Beauty routine down to a science
    Grandpa's thylox vegetable soap, thayer's rose petal witch hazel toner, brow gel, curl dem lashes, kiehl's balm, pixie clear gloss in center. Maybe a bb. Hair looks awesome already. My face morphs into Penelope cruz's. And my body. And also my voice. I am Penelope Cruz when I grow up.
  5. Black coffee, green tea, croissant, prepared fruit
    To me, prepared fruit means I've made it.
  6. Drive to Target
    Jaguar mark x 1963
  7. Buy anything I want
    Candles, jar of Nivea, Bustelo (that can is 👌), button down probably, wooden crate for my super impressive record collection because I'm patient and financially stable
  8. Talk to my regular cashier-we are friends.
    She is Great Gerwig in Frances Ha, basically.
  9. Go home, grade awesome papers from class that is really inspired/inspirational. Their writing is incredible
  10. Read like 100 pages from Vonnegut or DFW or Zadie Smith or something
  11. My best lady friends call me, we have sushi somewhere and laugh really hard at stuff only we get. Our waiter is our new friend.
  12. Beautiful man with great hair growth sees book I'm reading, we all start talking because we're all very smart but not pretentious or uncomfortable.
  13. Beautiful man is really easy to talk to-our banter is hella witty and he's not creepy and he has perfect taste in movies-even rom-coms. Shares the belief with me that they shouldn't be a "guilty pleasure" because they're just plain awesome.
  14. We say bye to beautiful man (some cool name I haven't thought of)
  15. We shop at a flea market and find amazing pieces
  16. While I'm paying for a pair of clogs my book is cracked open a little and see the dedication page has a post-it on it with beautiful Guy's contact info.
  17. Lady friends and I go home, talk a little longer with dranks, I start making dinner with This American Life playing in the background.
  18. We eat in front of the TV watching The Office, The Mindy Project, or a "You've Got Mail," "Harry/Sally" type movie
  19. Everyone goes home
  20. I write an e-mail or a hilarious handwritten letter to beautiful guy
  21. We write to each other, fall in love, get married somewhere cool as fuck, adopt a kid, maybe have a kid (I have a natural birth that isn't painful at all) and are a super happy, rambunctious group of people.