THE WORST DATE I'VE EVER BEEN ON πŸ˜–

This happened in October 2015. Names withheld to mask the guilty. Inspired by @ListPrompts
  1. β€’
    Met a very handsome man through a mutual friend.
    We flirted. He asked for my number. He got my number.
  2. β€’
    Abbreviated first date (my fault/schedule)
    Long enough to learn he is well-educated, wealthy, well-connected, funny. Bonus points for being a dad. Double bonus as one of his kids is dyslexic. Shared experiences! Sensed physical chemistry and established need for second date. So far, so good.
  3. β€’
    Second date, he wants to take me to the theatre.
    He drops that he is on the board of our local conservatory group. I had recently suffered heartbreak and was ready to mope ... but here is my future husband! I bring my A game. Dolce & Gabbana bustier dress, Valentino heels. Hair, makeup, etc all on point. In short, I looked A-mazing.πŸ’ƒπŸΌ πŸ’…πŸ½πŸ‘ 
  4. β€’
    The. Worst. Date. Of. My. Entire. Life.
  5. β€’
    I show up a a few minutes late (traffic).
    He is already intoxicated. πŸ‘ŽπŸ»
  6. β€’
    In ride to theatre, he excitedly brags about the $35 million put into renovating the theatre. πŸ‘ŽπŸ»
    And repeats himself. πŸ‘ŽπŸ» Odd, but I chalk it up to nervousness and/or alcohol.
  7. β€’
    He wants the St Regis house car to take us to The Strand.
    In process of getting car, he's rude to Daymon Wayons and his friend who also want the house car. πŸ‘ŽπŸ» I suggest the Bentley can take us both to our destinations
  8. β€’
    At theatre, we get cocktails and find our seats. πŸΈπŸ’Ί
    During the performance, he continues talking. He is serious about communicating his important role in "funding this edgy performing arts space." πŸ™„
  9. β€’
    Man on other side of me, shushes him.
    Twice. 😢 Date ignores man and continues to blather on, in self-aggrandizing manner
  10. β€’
    Finally, the man is pissed & says, "Shut up!" 😳
    My date yells, "FUCK YOU!"! Loudly. πŸ˜΅πŸ˜–πŸ˜«πŸ˜©
  11. β€’
    Intermission, I run to the ladies room to regroup.
    Did I mention I looked amazing? Little old ladies compliment me. This energizes me, and I decide to shake off the negativity. This explosion was just a fluke. This is my future husband, after all! πŸ’„He can't be this much of an a-hole!
  12. β€’
    We don't go back for second act.
    (I am secretly relieved as I'm sure the man in our row will be delighted.) 🎭
  13. β€’
    "Let's eat!" date says.
    ... as he walks out of the theater with the second round of drinks in his hands. 🍸🍸 for some reason, security doesn't stop him. Maybe because he's on the board?
  14. β€’
    We make a stop at his swank residence
    (I sense an attempt to impress me so I don't go in.) He brings his two very large dogs to join us πŸ•πŸ• I like dogs and these dogs are sweet, so I'm cool with this
  15. β€’
    We go to nearby a restaurant. With πŸ•πŸ•
    I proceed to order and eat dinner. He proceeds to order and _drink_ dinner.
  16. β€’
    A waiter expresses annoyance at him and his dogs.
    My date hands over a $100 bill and a $5 bill (huh?) to appease him. πŸ’΅
  17. β€’
    We move to another venue for Irish coffees. β˜•οΈ
    My date walks unsteadily. As he ties the canines to a light pole, his plumber crack is in full display. I'm mortified.
  18. β€’
    He's gone for several minutes
    A waitress points in the direction he went outside. I'm not about to chase him down, plus I have to watch the dogs!πŸ•πŸ•
  19. β€’
    He orders. I go the ladies room.
    When I return, my coffee is there but my date is not❓
  20. β€’
    Did he just bail on me?
    Is he buying drugs? Taking a phone call? Wtf?
  21. β€’
    He returns.
    And proceeds to yell at me for talking to other people in his absence. He is so furious, he gets the dogs and departs
  22. β€’
    I uber myself back to my neighborhood
    And proceed to get smashed with friends
  23. β€’
    The next day he apologized, blamed the booze, said he wants to get together again. "Ball's in your court." 🎾
    I haven't texted back