THINGS I HATE ABOUT BEING A LITERARY AGENT

  1. Free lunches with editors are great but sometimes you just want to eat a salad at your desk and screw around on the internet.
  2. People reeeeeeeaaaallllly care about my opinion. A lot. More than I do even.
  3. I always think I'm right and I will happily argue with you about anything because...duh I'm always right. Which makes me very good at my job but a terrible person in general.
  4. It would be nice to read a book without knowing any gossip about the author, her editor or agent, etc.
  5. We all get into the publishing industry because we love to read books, but now we only read manuscripts. Which I guess is a Catch-22.
  6. This job keeps me really busy and it really stifles my dreams of being a professional poker player. Or Bradley Cooper's personal assistant. Or an ice cream taster for Ben & Jerry's.
  7. Often I meet someone at a party and think we are fast friends until...they pull a manuscript out of their ass crack and I realize they are only talking to me because they want me to make them into the next famous novelist.
  8. I often become a favor for someone. As in "I adore my ophthalmologist and I told her you'd read her sister's book so look out for an email. I haven't read it myself but she's so nice. I owe you a drink!" This is a real example. This happens almost daily.